What it’s like to be locked down with depression

Around eight years or so ago (I forget) I stopped drinking. Which promptly, in combination with coinciding with the ending of my time in the Reserves seems to have tipped me into depression. Now, I could never understand what people meant by “depression”, seemed a bit silly and self indulgent. Surely you could exercise or motivate yourself out of something so ephemeral? Go for a run or something, right? What’s wrong with these weak minded idiots? That was my thinking if I ever thought about it.

What’s depression like then? You ask.

Imagine everything you previously found pleasure in, being of little or no interest. Example: Yesterday I walked the dog, and the old boy did that dog thing of running through grass full of doggy joy. And seeing his doggy joy made me involuntarily smile. In depression that just goes away. And you have no idea why. For the best part of two years I did not experience the normal day to day feelings of joy in ordinary, simple things that you don’t realise until they aren’t there anymore, are the actual things that make life the slightest bit worth living. Food, exercise, my own child’s progress in life. My wife’s loving care, my dogs, my students, a nice grilled cheese sandwich. Everything.

With a huge amount of research, time and effort I used CBT and a return to faith to drag myself out of that bloody hole. From thinking daily about the best way to self – end, to once again experience the joys of simple things. Restoring a car and making videos of that effort was an essential part of the process.

By the time the covid came around, I was back to being pretty good. I’d missed a large chunk of my daughter’s childhood, but was alive and able to again experience joy. Most importantly, no longer a burden on my wife.

One of the things I found out during this time was how many of my friends and colleagues had similar problems. It’s a huge chunk of people who at one time or another smack up against this shit. For perfectly understandable reasons, no one initiates that topic.

2020 was not good. I remember going out the end of the driveway during that first curfew and being hit by the silence. The freeway is about a kilometre away, and to hear nothing was disturbing. It felt like the end of the bloody world.

I can’t tell you what going through covid with depression would be like, because I didn’t. But I can extrapolate my experiences of both and come to the conclusion that our governments have cast a large number of people into hell.

For reasons I just don’t understand, they continue to do so.

59 thoughts on “What it’s like to be locked down with depression”

  1. Good posting, Arky.

    You are most fortunate to have a family network to draw additional strength and help from.

    We pity and grieve for those who do not…


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  2. Congratulations on your journey out of the darkness Arky. In the last year and a half I have relied a lot on the prayer of St. Teresa of Avila:

    Let nothing disturb you.
    Let nothing make you afraid.
    All things are passing.
    God alone never changes.
    Patience gains all things.
    If you have God you will want for nothing.
    God alone suffices.


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  3. The psychological pounding really has been unrelenting. I feel for the poor guys I’ve known who had other ailments like OCD and schizophrenia. We all have been unendingly gaslighted – first with the global warming stuff and now with Covid stuff. The latter gaslighting is worse, but even the former has led to serious harm especially amongst the young who aren’t equipped to get a scientific perspective.

    An example of this was the poll which found last year that ordinary British people thought Covid was 100 times deadlier than it actually is. Almost certainly due to hyperbolic government pronouncements and MSM reporting. And further to that people on the Left are the most prone to overdoing the fear stuff. There’s an interesting survey by the Brookings Institute that has a lot of data:

    How misinformation is distorting COVID policies and behaviors (22 Dec)

    And example is that 41% Dem voters believed 50% or more of Covid infected people would require hospitalization, and even 28% Republican voters believed that too, compared with the actual figure between 1 and 5% hospitalized. And the low numeracy portions of the population were by far the most fearful. (See Fig 3 for the data I’m talking about.)

    These endless scares coming from the Lefty MSM and elite class are really annoying. I have no idea what the answer to it is.


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  4. These endless scares coming from the Lefty MSM and elite class are really annoying.

    I have stopped watching the news, morning and evening. So, the Beloved watches it in the front bedroom so I don’t have to.

    When he comes back, I ask him “what’s new?”. It has slowly dawned on him – the terrible truth. Nothing. They use the same footage for days and weeks in a row. The same stories, the same formats. When you’re constantly watching, you don’t really notice any more. When it’s strictly limited to five minutes, twice a day – you do.

    This is gaslighting and propaganda. Concealed behind fancy graphics and happy, shiny faces in the morning, dour, concerned ones at night.


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  5. Thanks Arky, and good on you for extrapolating you experiences. Of the people I know who have talked with me at length about their depression- my twin brother is one- I’ve noticed that there is a simplicity to the incidence. Normal people, normal lives, no particular episode of loss or trauma, and almost like being randomly sh#t on by a passing bird, they’ll realise that the things that have given them thrills in their lives no longer touch them, they’ll be feeling like sitting in front of a dull movie, noticing the plot but not feeling invested in it.
    That period of disengagement is the danger time. While lockdowns continue, and individuals are insulated from the wandering and disarming face-to-face conversations that you can only get at pubs and barbecues, peeps are in peril.


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  6. Arky I wish I had got to know you better when we met at Burnley I would have given you my phone number as a contact for when and if the black dog wandered back in. Let me know if I can help .


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  7. disarming face-to-face conversations

    Stupid, stupid masks.

    We have a young man in the house doing a leather clean on the sofas. Masked. Heard some mumbling with the Beloved, so I sashayed in and told him we had no objection to him removing his mask. None. Nada. Zip. After a quick double-take, he took it off, saying thank god, I’m an asthmatic and these things are killing me.

    Now I can hear happy, normal conversation going on in the next room as he does his work. This is what normal life looks like, and I won’t have some maggot in government steal it from me in my own home.


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  8. Dear Arky,
    Thank you for sharing your journey and having the courage to do so. I’m very glad that you have come out the other side safely and have started to enjoy life again. I had the black dog unexpectedly but, fortunately, briefly snapping at my heels last year, brought about entirely by the lockup here in Victoriastan. I know that I have had to remain on guard ever since, particularly as the pressure has been getting worse since then. Being a lurker on the Cat though has, for me anyhow, been consoling. Please keep contributing and stay well.


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  9. Great post. Been partially there can understand some of the experience expressed …but by no means all.

    Agree with Calli. I cut out msm news. May catch up with Credlin in the evenings. Read the Australian so I can control the flow of shit news. Overall dial it back. Start a small diy project. Focus on the little things and do them as best can. Slow down, take the time. All the best.


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  10. Thanks for the thoughtful post, Arks. I’ve had some horrendous bouts of depression in my time, but thankfully none for many decades, although current circumstances are indeed proving to be very trying.

    I managed to snap out of my last bout (induced by a relationship breakdown) when one of my best mates simply said to me – get over yourself, you’re one of the one of the most fortunate people I know – count your blessings, not your troubles.

    Well, it worked. I took stock and then simply vowed to get on with on it and enjoy life as best I could. Massively cutting down my booze consumption also helped – I was drinking every day and it really is a sure fire way to completely stuff up your life. Nowadays I only drink on weekends and have done so since the mid nineties.

    For those struggling under this current totalitarian insanity, you have my sympathy. As someone who lives by themself it has been an horrendous ordeal. You still can’t help but yearn for what we’ve lost, especially given its unlikely we’ll be able to get those things back any time soon.

    Our so called rulers are unrepentant tyrants. It really didn’t take long for their masks to slip, did it?

    The take out from all this? They must be made to pay – big time.


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  11. I saw a report from Suicide Prevention Australia last week re suicide during covid.

    I don’t know how sophisticated the data collection was, but it estimated that 1 in 4 Australians knew someone or knew of someone who had either suicided or attempted to do so in the last 12 months.

    Now, they may have an interest in bumping up the figures, but they are clearly on to something. It is well know that social isolation and economic hardship are the two strongest factors that prompt people to consider suicide. The covid lockdowns have created the perfect storm. We should all be very angry.


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  12. Onya, Arky. You haven’t lived til you’ve been in the depths and recovered. One of the most effective treatments for depression is exercise, in sunlight and with fresh air. They know this. That’s why you can’t.


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  13. Wise words, rosie, but you have to watch some TV, especially the adverts, so you know what not to buy. The endless ads showing the plight of bears, koalas, kids in shitholistan and so on, with heart-rending music, is designed only to wear you down. How can these charities pay for so much advertising, I hear you ask? Easy, gummint grants (your tax $$$$) being spent to grind you down.
    I pity any poor sod who doesn’t know about the 2 Cats.


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  14. It is well know that social isolation and economic hardship are the two strongest factors that prompt people to consider suicide.

    Yes. It is so well known that it proves Rabz point:

    Our so called rulers are unrepentant tyrants.

    Yet we still hear people say that they’re doing it for our own good. What more could our overlords do before the serfs realise that they truly, honestly, absolutely, undoubtedly DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU.


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  15. The only person than can conquer depression is oneself. It’s not an easy road but if a slacker like myself can do it most people should be able to.
    The first thing to do is stop whining about it to all and sundry.
    I have psychiatric advice to drink with my mates to make sure I have no recurrence of PTSD. I just have to accept that at the moment I can’t.
    I do have some regrets about my choices though. Downsizing before all this shamdemic panic started. That was regrettable.


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  16. This is gaslighting and propaganda. Concealed behind fancy graphics and happy, shiny faces in the morning, dour, concerned ones at night.

    The evening bulletins are bizarre. Frontloaded with scary graphics, big red numbers, teary-eyed nurses, then after the first ten minutes it’s back to lost dog, cute baby hippo, kids at playgroup stories.


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  17. Appreciate you sharing that Arky and glad you found your way back.

    Mrs Albino and I continue to muddle through and thankfully are of a like mind re Covid, vaccines, the need for HOP time etc. We worry about our primary school aged kids more than ourselves at the moment, with homeschooling having opened the door to device time causing the most tension in the household.

    For whatever reason we’d pretty much stopped watching mainstream TV pre-Covid anyway, certainly no news etc. And thank god we did – other likeminded families we know who still watch/listen to the MSM out of habit feel absolutely ground down by the relentless fear mongering.


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  18. Well, that is revealing, Arky. I have wondered. Somehow those similarly afflicted can discern things others miss. I’ve been sober since 1995, but I had to lose everything first, and I mean everything. Lived on the streets, weighed 66kgs at the end, and I’m over 6’ tall.
    Living in the gutter is not a great career move. It was only after I got clean and sober that I was diagnosed as bipolar. From homelessness to psych wards! Eventually a wonderful shrink help to put me back together. I still suffer bouts of black depression, but know “this too will pass”.
    The thing is- this society, for all its faults, provided someone who should be dead with the means to rebuild their life. I know we cats are a grumpy lot (as it should be!), but we have much to be grateful for.
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  19. I just wish my husband could wean himself off the TV news. I just flee, now. For the sake of my mental health. Otherwise my level of anger becomes unhealthy.

    Re the comment on VitD – we now take daily VitD3,VitC, Zinc & Bioflavanoids. I am having some Quercetin posted to me by a friend who miraculously procured some. All are standard daily supplements, but may increase the Zinc & VitD.


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  20. It’s interesting how some of us have the mindset that everyone else we see in life – friends and strangers alike – have managed to get it all together and are 100% functional and content. Except for us. If they can do it, why can’t I?

    The last 18 months have been strange. I’ve expressed previously that I’m grateful I still have my job, though it only just pays the bills, most of my co-workers are dead fish who occasionally spasm, thus giving the impression of life, and management give the term corporate psychopathy a whole new meaning. Without this job, chances are that myself and my four-legged daughter would be living in the car, because the rental situation here is nuts, and we have no support network. It may still happen, but for the time being, we have somewhere.

    Having written the above, the weird part of all of this is that the resilience I’ve built over a lifetime of not getting anything at all ‘right’ has actually helped me to cope fairly well. I’m used to not having the things that everyone else is now missing. Bizarrely, I feel almost successful!

    I’m not sure I’ll ever completely discard that human trait of measuring myself against others, but I’m giving it a shot. I’ve started life again. Smelly Fart gives me a reason to get up each morning and out into the fresh air, and I have a couple of secret projects that prod my cognitive jelly.

    Thanks for the post, Arky, and to everyone who has shared their thoughts, especially the blokes.


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  21. Arky, thank you for the generous post on your experience of depression.
    My granddaughter tried to commit suicide two years ago & the depression that caused it was a terrible thing.

    I myself have tended over the years towards anxiety, rather than depression. It is probably an expression of my need for control, which derives no doubt from a precarious childhood. Not surprisingly, the damned thing has re-emerged in spades as a result not so much of Covid itself, but as a result of the government savaging my sense of independence and personal decision making.

    It has returned me to my compulsion for research ( to reestablish control!) – now re covid, medical research, dissident virologists et al.

    Farm work and outdoors exercise, plus a long suffering & (mercifully) devoted spouse, keep me on an even ( though somewhat tenuous) even keel.

    I wish all of you Cats peace & courage to see this nightmare through.


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  22. …we still hear people say that they’re doing it for our own good.

    If the report I mentioned above is anywhere close to the truth the covid lockdowns imposed by politicians at the behest of health bureaucrats will have already killed more people than the virus.


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  23. plus a long suffering & (mercifully) devoted spouse,

    ..
    Yep. I hear that.
    ..
    Too many good replies on here to respond to all, so if I didn’t reply, be assured I read and appreciated every single one.


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  24. Roger

    I don’t know how sophisticated the data collection was, but it estimated that 1 in 4 Australians knew someone or knew of someone who had either suicided or attempted to do so in the last 12 months.

    I doubt that even one in 20 Australians knows or knows of someone who was hospitalised or died with Kung Flu.


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  25. Just on Kenny; Chris Minns, the NSW Opposition Leader.

    Kenny has just referred to John Barilaro admitting today that curfews don’t work – that they haven’t worked in south western Sydney – and that he won’t impose a curfew on the people of Dubbo.

    Minns then was asked why the Opposition haven’t challenged the rules when they are incomprehensible – like sitting on park benches. He’s replied that he’ll back common sense – and thinks that Barilaro’s stance shows common sense but that these rules must be looked at again.

    So what’s the private polling telling politicians?, – The people are sick and tired of this stuff. That news.com.au poll as well maybe giving the politicians pause for thought.


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  26. Thanks, Arky, for this post; for stepping forward and helping us to understand for ourselves, our family and friends for what it is like and how you worked to overcome.
    And thank you also to those commenters who have shared their experience, it is like being thrown a good and hefty lifeline.
    Would really appreciate any ideas from Cats for supporting someone long distance, socially isolated and facing a bleak and empty European winter, unable to come home for a years. It is such a critical balancing act with just phone conversations to connect with them.
    Apropos ‘long distance’ – in VIC the 5k travel restriction does not apply to providing care and support to a person with “7(1)(c) (i) particular needs because of age, infirmity, disability, illness … or (ii) particular needs relating to the other person’s health (including mental health or pregnancy)” DHHS “Stay at Home Directions (No8). Some people seem to be under the misapprehension that they cannot travel beyond 5k to visit family with dementia in aged care. Sure the Home can deny you permission to enter the Home 🙂 but you can stand at the window, or if that is not possible a step ladder with balloons and an umbrella. Everyone has a laugh!
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  27. Thanks, Miss Anthropist, but I’m not sure that would be productive for either of us.

    I thought for a while about my response, as I’m usually very private and seldom provide information about myself, especially online and in the company of dodgy clowders. What I wanted to communicate though, is that the tired cliché ‘It’s never too late’ is sometimes applicable.

    Through circumstances beyond my control, I didn’t have the best start in life, and it took me an awful long time to begin to cope with the consequences. Because of that, there were opportunities I missed out on (didn’t see), or didn’t grab with both hands, or simply couldn’t handle. While it seems that some things have passed me by (and I haven’t figured out how to deal with that yet), I’ve made sure over the last decade, that I WILL see any future opportunities, and I’ll be better equipped to make the most of them. I want to make sure that when it comes to that time, I won’t be pushing up daisies, because daisies are far too ‘Meh’ for me. It will be something more exotic, dramatic, quirky. Maybe there won’t be a big patch of them, just one single triffid, ready to pounce.

    A slow starter with a stolen fence paling for a headstone? Sure. But there’s a triffid to carry my legacy.


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  28. Maman says:
    September 6, 2021 at 6:02 pm

    Would really appreciate any ideas from Cats for supporting someone long distance, socially isolated and facing a bleak and empty European winter, unable to come home for a years. It is such a critical balancing act with just phone conversations to connect with them.

    That’s a tough one without knowing the details. My first thought was ‘What type of project could be undertaken on the phone over a period of time?’ I thought maybe you could say you wanted to record a family history (even if no-one might seem interested now, a following generation might be, but it cannot be left until then), but then asking questions to trigger the memory may highlight what is presently absent. Hmmm.

    Good luck.


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  29. I can’t tell you what going through covid with depression would be like, because I didn’t. But I can extrapolate my experiences of both and come to the conclusion that our governments have cast a large number of people into hell.

    For reasons I just don’t understand, they continue to do so.

    Being bereaved and grieving while cut off physically from family and co-workers does push you into depression. I continue with the help of prayer.

    Having an opportunity to vent here and at the previous Cat also helps.


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  30. Muddy, Thank You so very much for the reply. That is a such a simple and straight forward focus to have. I can see it will not be viewed as contrived, it is constructive and there will be many, many funny situations brought to mind that can be recorded and shared with nieces and nephews. Much appreciated, thank you.


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  31. Would really appreciate any ideas from Cats for supporting someone long distance, socially isolated and facing a bleak and empty European winter, unable to come home for a years. It is such a critical balancing act with just phone conversations to connect with them.

    ..
    As Muddy said, it’s hard to give individual advice.
    All I can say is the things that helped me were:
    A good psychologist.
    Making the effort of nightly prayer and thanks giving.
    Having a challenging project.
    Volunteering and helping other people.
    Making the effort to find out about my own capabilities. I did an IQ test supervised by the psychologist. The same for a personality test. And I used making those videos to see how I came across to others and to check how I was really travelling. You can fool yourself that you’re OK, but if you are editing the video evidence that your head is down and your tone of voice indicating problems, it’s a really good diagnostic.


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  32. A note on giving thanks.
    The last thing I do at night is talk to God.
    (I don’t think it’s a requirement to believe in God in order to talk to him, so I’d do it even if my faith in his existence was waning that day. I also don’t think He minds you talking back to him or giving Him some stick).
    I say the Lord’s prayer, which I find calming. Then I’d list all the deceased people I know who I’d like him to watch over. Then I list all the things I owe thanks for. These don’t have to be current things. It could be “Thanks for the great dogs I’ve had throughout my life”.
    Now there are times I’m doing this I feel pretty stupid.
    I don’t care, because it works.


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  33. Thank you, Arky. I understand. I’ve had bouts since the early 1970s, when my first marriage broke up — and we really were just kids. (Married at 20.) Back then, I was suicidal. I still carry the scars.

    Now, I just have the black dog visit occasionally, when nothing seems worthwhile and my life seems meaningless. It lasts maybe 48 hours, but all I want to do is drink and sleep. My darling wife is always there, waiting, to help. And she does.

    But even on top of it all, I just wish fervently I had been a better father and a better husband. I see so much more I could have done, and been, for my girls. And my wife deserves so much better than me.

    Anyhow, I don’t mind quite so much as long as they know how unreservedly I love them. They are my life.

    Thanks again, Arky. You made me feel not quite so alone.


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  34. I count myself lucky that I am in general an optimist. Glass half full, not half empty.

    A friend of mine, actually an old friend of Hairy’s, was generally crazy in his yoof and got ‘sent down’ from Cambridge for riding his motorbike into Kings Hall. He moved to topical Queensland and went seriously troppo. Into mental hospitals. He came down to Sydney, stayed with us, helped out with the kids and ran the household; our Major Domo, as he called himself. Entirely trustworthy, amusing company and very sane. Then suddenly after several months, as he was making plans to leave, a black depression struck. I’ve never seen anything like it. He coud hardly walk. He was barely functional in motor terms. Blank faced. Couldn’t talk. Had to be led around by the hand. Back into psych hospital. That wasn’t just depression as many feel it, a bleak sadness; it was a totally incapacitating illness. My mother had something similar for years, after numerous episodes of a definite schizophrenic nature entailing years of hospitalisation. At times she could not even recognise me. But she pulled round in her older years, formed a new relationship, and was happy.

    Our friend started a new relationship after his serious depression. We went to his wedding in a Catholic church, his first didn’t count. Aged 50, he had a child with this new young wife, to add to the child of his first collapsed marriage. All went to shit in the new relationship too, as we expected. He now lives alone in Western Australia, his only company the mental health worker who visits him in his public housing. My eldest son, slightly autistic, keeps in touch on Facebook, rings him to check he’s OK, and they get on well, but his own daughter, whom I looked after a lot as a child, has moved to America and has lost touch with him although not with us. Hairy and I occasionally call, but he is not particularly receptive to us now. His son, now grown, has little to do with him either. People’s lives are so variable. We need to stop judging in case we are judged, and help where we can when help is needed and we are able to give it. That’s the only sense I can make of it all.

    You are a good one, Arky, and you have maintained throughout it all your sense of humour.
    That is truly a saving grace, if grace there be.


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  35. Said too much.

    No, Bruce. You have simply shown that you are a very fine and self-aware man.
    With the love you have to offer them your family have missed out less than they have gained.


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  36. Arky, Thank You. These are practical and I think very useful. Appreciate your openness. The phone conversations are complicated by generational dynamics and male/female ‘misunderstandings’ so your insight and experience has helped. Thank you again, your reply, and Muddy’s, have given encouragement that there is hope even with just phone calls there are actions and words that can help.

    The Cat really is a ‘lifeline’ to understanding how this wild world works, I’m so grateful for everybody’s contribution to its continuing success. Thank you.


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  37. To Crossie & anyone whose comment has not been responded to directly: Please do not think that no-one has noticed. It may be that readers doubt the quality of their own advice or do not wish to sound patronising. As an indirect part of my job, I’m often required to have these type of conversations, but finding the most appropriate & effective words doesn’t seem to become easier with repetition.


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  38. A quick read back thread and something that stands out by a country mile – thankfulness. It’s something that I too have learned when the world caves in – be grateful. It keeps the black hound away, and it’s little yappy follower, self pity.

    A beautiful, godly friend told me that even on the days that there appeared to be nothing to be grateful for, and she’d hobble into bed exhausted…she’d thank God for her cozy pyjamas! You have to be ruthless with these things, because it’s so easy to slip into the zombie zone where you don’t feel anything at all.

    So…this morning on my list of things to be thankful for is the beautiful, clear blue sky and the sight of a small water fowl who’s just popped up to the back door to have a look in.


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  39. Calli, “Thankfulness”, yes, absolutely. The idea of being “thankful” seems to me to suggest ‘I’ have control of the feeling, whereas “grateful” is somehow something else? And I don’t know how to pin that down. AHH, HA! Hang on, Is this why people speak about a ‘debt of gratitude’?
    The distinction between “Thankfulness” and “Gratitude” will be a legitimate starting off point for ‘long distance conversations’.
    Now, 🙂 I am both “Thankful” for the Cat and “Grateful” for the contributions from Arky, Muddy and calli in kindly, thoughtfully and generously suggesting actions to address the predicament of maintaining a connection with someone isolated 1000s of kilometres from home. Thank You.
    And to Dover0Beach for all the work that has gone into and will be required to keep the ‘newcatallaxy’ alive, Thank You.


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  40. A couple of reflective stanzas showing how to catch the moment and live for it within it, calming one’s mind, from Clive James’ last, and best, poem; about his dying: ‘Sentenced to life’.

    “My daughter’s garden has
    a goldfish pool
    With six fish, each a little
    finger long.
    I stand and watch them
    following their rule
    Of never touching, never
    going wrong:
    Trajectories as perfect as
    plain song.

    Once, I would not have
    noticed: nor have known
    The name for Japanese
    anemones.
    So pale, so frail: but now
    I catch the tone
    Of leaves. No birds can
    touch down in the trees
    Without my seeing them.
    I count the bees.”

    And me?
    I whisper to my wild black Currawong, patiently waiting with her bright yellow eye.
    We are living things on the same stage, and that is good enough for us both.
    There is joy abounding once you decide to look for it. Spread that good news widely.


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  41. A very moving thread.
    I could write about my post-natal depression (many long years ago) which I am certain was down to rapidly fluctuating hormones. It was in no way helpful to be admonished by those who have never suffered genuine depression to ‘snap out of it, we all have low periods’. At its deepest, it is impossible to snap out of it. Medical help is required for a while. Once that starts the lift it is then very necessary to work on recovery. The biggest help, third time round, was yoga. Almost instant results; my yoga teacher herself was amazed at the speed of it and I kicked all medication from then on. After the next child I started yoga gently asap and suffered no depression. During the third pregnancy I had read a book about yoga, suggesting that it could balance hormones. After several months of misery something clicked and I asked my GP what she thought. Her resonse was on the lines of ‘it won’t do any harm and might do some good’.
    It was the grey meaninglessness of life and total inertia that was frightening. Giving thanks to God for everything good is very important.
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  42. Crossie says:
    September 6, 2021 at 9:53 pm

    I’ve been thinking, is this what limbo is like?

    I’m intrigued by the question, but have no idea how to answer it.
    My first thought, whacky as it may read, was of one of the X-Men films where the baddie is kept in a perspex type of cube, which is suspended in some large man-made chasm. Hence his every move can be viewed by others.

    Spoiler alert – he escapes. But he does have super powers. So this really isn’t helping with Crossie’s question, is it?


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  43. Cuckoo:

    The evening bulletins are bizarre. Frontloaded with scary graphics, big red numbers, teary-eyed nurses, then after the first ten minutes it’s back to lost dog, cute baby hippo, kids at playgroup stories.

    I made a comment on the OpenFredd about the black and red Covids floating across a black and red map of the Lucky Country.
    Leni Riefenstahl would have been proud of it.


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  44. Perfidious Albino:

    For whatever reason we’d pretty much stopped watching mainstream TV pre-Covid anyway, certainly no news etc. And thank god we did – other likeminded families we know who still watch/listen to the MSM out of habit feel absolutely ground down by the relentless fear mongering.

    Honestly I cannot remember when I first stopped watching TV.
    I think it was early ’80’s.
    40 years ago.
    I cannot work out how people form their world views from the drivel and propaganda beamed at them from the idiot boxes – actually – yes I can.


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  45. Crossie:

    I’ve been thinking, is this what limbo is like?

    No.
    Been there done that.
    During 19 cardiac arrests and defibrillator resuscitations, limbo is an experience of nothingness. Total nothingingness. Just a sensation of self and nothing.
    You are just a consciousness floating in an unrelieved void.
    (But there are lots of people dancing under broomsticks if you were at a party, I believe. It’s as dull as dogshit.)


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  46. Thanks for posting this Arky.

    I’m hanging in, but it’s difficult. I’m daily swinging from OK, to despair, to anger, to shattered, to broken, to maybe OK, to fleeting moments of “good” – and then back again.

    I’m self-employed in a profession that is built on healing and repair, on making good things that have been harmed or damaged or neglected. Helping living animals and their owners. It’s an absolute joy to be able to do this.

    Yet, most days I begin in tears, feeling helpless and hopeless against this hideous and hateful machine of government and manipulated social pressure to accept a situation that I know is based on outright lies.

    It’s only because I do actually get in the ute and drive to those appointments I’ve made, because of the obligation I have to keep faith with my clients and their animals, that I can lift myself out of that black hole of despair each day. I always seem to finish the day uplifted and thankful that I have the skills and ability to do this work, and to bring something good to others’ lives.

    I have good friends, professional colleagues too, some close, some a long way away over interstate borders (in my own country FFS!) and with no prospect of soon being able to hug each other again, to share meals and conversation and life again. That hurts. I have my music, and a growing passion for learning new instruments, and good friends to teach and help me with that. I have this wonderful community here at the Cat. I have a lot to be thankful for.

    Being thankful! Yes, this is so important. But we must not fall into the trap of being thankful for the tidbits cast to us from the table of rights and freedoms that are ours by natural right or law. Tidbits cast to us only if we accept the yoke of their demands to submit to what is still only an experimental chemical concoction, a genetic engineering jab; “rights and freedoms” that can be and will be revoked on whatever is the next whim or “variant” or “pandemic” (keep an eye out for the “Marburg” virus).


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  47. I’m daily swinging from OK, to despair, to anger, to shattered, to broken, to maybe OK, to fleeting moments of “good” – and then back again.

    ..
    Bushy, get some extra help and support ASAP please.
    Don’t ignore it or try to “battle through”.
    Get a plan, do something to actively improve your situation.


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  48. Good advice Arky. I’m taking it too. Not on the “get help” bit, because I’m fortunate in that way, but in the distraction side of things. Currently working on yet another children’s ward blanket and thinking about the little one who will cuddle up in it.

    On such things is sanity pinned. Literally.


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