My, that’s a nice bunch of pansies

(Goes without saying: Not medical advice)

There has been a disturbing trend on Catallaxy in the last week of previously stout men saying they cannae go on Jim, because their wives insist they get the vax for the good of their status in society, or for Facebook, or for the next PTA meeting or some shit like that. Men who said they would never take this thing, ever, and never, never, never let their kids get it.

This is the most effeminate shit I have ever witnessed since a previous girl friend dragged me to a New Kids On the Block concert some thirty years ago.

Good Lord. You’re a man, get a grip on things.

I know, I know, for some decades now you were under the illusion that you were in a 50:50 partnership, you raised kids together, you were a team, you faced the world and fought the mortgage, the school, the whole world as one. You shared the joys, the trials, even the chores. You had shared goals and values.

You’re an idiot.

This morning you got up, went to the bathroom, put the seat up, took a leak, then put the seat back down so your missus could wander in: “La de dah de dah”, plonk her big fat arse on it without looking. Didn’t you? You’ve been doing that for decades. I want you to do something for me right now. Go back in there, rip that seat right off the crapper and hurl it out the back door. Now. Go out. Out into the morning, to the nature reserve, park or paddock nearest you. Find some wildlife and wrestle it to the ground. Take a shit on it. You’re a man, you don’t need indoor plumbing, we made that for them.

Jesus. Grow some balls.

You’ve been manscaping, haven’t you? Why? Why, why, why? Women don’t keep us around because we look good. You don’t keep a pit bull in the house for it’s looks. You keep it because it’s going to clamp it’s jaws around a limb of anyone dumb enough to climb in the window and immobilise that bastard until you can wrestle him to the ground and take a shit on him. Women don’t keep a hairy, bad, ugly, smelly, nasty tempered semi- lunatic around the house because we look good. It’s to keep them safe. You’re her hairy, bad, ugly, smelly, nasty tempered semi- lunatic.

How safe is she feeling right now that you’re going to meekly go along with everyone else? She married a charming loon, and now she’s stuck indoors with a clown pansy.

What’s she gonna do? Divorce you? Good luck lady. Look at the real estate market. Make you unload the dishwasher again? I think you’re already doing that, you’re probably unloading it while you’re reading this. Pussy. Nag you to death? Come on man, death has always been our final escape route.

What the hell are you doing?

Isn’t it enough they took all the good indoor jobs and are now pretending they can be soldiers? Are we also going to let them tell us how to fulfil our role as house beasts? We’re only allowed in if we’re vaxxed and neutered?

Is she going to cut off the sex? Ohhhhhhh, You’re so scared. After all these decades it’s hardly a novelty. What’s her thingo going to do different from the last 10,000 times? Suddenly start singing Smoke on the Water?

If nothing else, the cov has shone a light on some fundamental differences between men and woman. Worrying differences that used to be covered up by the fact that men were men and took charge. I don’t know where we go with this multitude of beautifully groomed wooses. It’s not good.

49 thoughts on “My, that’s a nice bunch of pansies”

  1. Have a mate who was married so many times that he eventually ran out of churches that would marry him. We shared a couple of best quality linen shirts for groom and best man to cut down on expenses because I had a somewhat similar extremely expensive hobby to a lesser extent, marriage and divorce. He was and is, Mr. nice guy but after a year or five his ladies would get thoroughly cheesed off with a bloke who was always Mr. nice guy and rid themselves of him after cleaning out his bank account as a matter of course.

  2. Yeh i dunno, is she going to divorce me? … at the moment its a maybe. As for real estate we’ve worked our arse off to own a rental property to set ourselves up for the future, she know lives there with the kids. At least she doesn’t support the jab but that’s irrelevant now my new jobs requires interstate travel so going to need the jab for that. Not feeling much like the proud man described in your story …

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  3. Not feeling much like the proud man described in your story …

    Yeah, it’s commentary, not marriage advice.
    Go rip the seat off the bog. You’ll feel better.

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  4. are there any you recommend for softness and adherent qualities?

    You’re a man (presumably) you’re not doing it for comfort. You’re doing it to show your domination of the physical world. The larger and more ferocious the critter the better. If you find a leopard out there, take photos after you’re done.

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  5. thefrollickingmole says:
    September 29, 2021 at 10:07 am

    When wiping my arse on my defeated member of the animal kingdom are there any you recommend for softness and adherent qualities?

    Im after the “quilton” of canines, the “softly” of cats or the “Kleenex” of Kangaroos.

    Id rather avoid the badgers arse brands

    Wimp. Real men use echidnas.

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  6. Thanks you Arky. Fine rant.

    What the cucks don’t understand is that she will not respect you for being a sook. She’ll go and find a tradie who confronted the police instead.

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  7. Arky.

    Following your advice I just crowned my victory (they were crying) by wiping my arse on my last victim.

    Apparently however it may have got me in trouble.
    There is no exemption in the working with children check for fecal related triumphs.

    Mother didnt seem that impressed that after treating a nasty oyster cut I got them to wait 5 minutes while I snapped one off then used the kids ponytail to complete my ablutions.

    My lawyer will be in touch.

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  8. In a saner world, for example one where all the vulnerable and anyone who wanted to were vaxxed, there would be no need to rip dunny seats off.

    We don’t live in such a world.

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  9. Mine threatened to call police on me this morning over my weekend country trips.

    The real tragedy here is that with the supply chains the way they are you can’t buy a scold’s bridle.

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  10. Russian roulette news.

    Side effects after booster dose similar to shot two: US study (28 Sep)

    Most side effects after a third dose of a COVID vaccine are mild or moderate, and occur at about as often as after shot two, a US study showed Tuesday in a finding that was expected but nonetheless reassuring.

    Reassuring huh? So each time you get a booster you have a fresh chance of clots, heart inflammation, agonizing rheumatoid arthritis and death? That’s really really reassuring that is.

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  11. Arky, does dreaming of […edit…]then literally sh—ting down the hole get me to base camp??
    [ease up, you’ll give the anti – terror geezers reading this palpitations- Arky]

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  12. Nice rant Arky.
    The crux of the matter is, after five decades of the Marxist Left successfully working to make marriage meaningless and men demasculated, there’s suddenly surprise when women first look to the mob-and the state- for moral authority.

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  13. And yet Wally, any leftist will tell you that this is perfectly OK.

    And we are the mad ones who need to be locked up because we noticed and said ‘WTF?! Stop That!’ instead of ‘Just as planned…’

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  14. 132andBushsays:
    September 29, 2021 at 12:14 pm
    Mine threatened to call police on me this morning over my weekend country trips.

    Thankfully there is a consensus in this house.

    you both want to call police on the other?

    I don’t know why some of you people hang around.. let me tell you being single can be a liberating breath of fresh air after 20+ years in a relationship.

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  15. “Treatment of women”.

    I heard this phrase on the ABC this morning, from junior Holmes A Court (Simon?), in relation to the forthcoming election.

    So, have all the recent ABC attacks on the coalition (men) been for the purpose of preparing the ground for a campaign against them based on “treatment of women”?

    Did Holmes A Court let the cat out of the bag this morning? He was being “interviewed” by Fran Kelly.

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  16. Mrs Eddystone is not getting the current jabs, but is champing at the bit for Novavax to be “approved”.

    Won’t hear anything against it. Even called me an anti-vaxxer when I said I wont be getting flu vaxx anymore either.

    Some discussion ensued.

    I’m about to be out of work shortly, as my region is expecting to get the jab mandate order this week.

    I’d hoped to work for a couple more years on half time.

    Still I’m 71, so maybe not a bad time to hang up the uniform.

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  17. It seems incredibly sad to hear stories of friendships and marriages strained to breaking point over this jab.

    Leave the poor toilet alone. You would be far better to ditch the TV.

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  18. Is John Setka vaccinated?

    John Setka catches covid after protest … blames protesters

    If not, he is a hypocrite.
    If he is double jabbed, why didn’t the voodoo medicine work and why should anyone get the jab?

    Probably just a con trick – he’s more likely in hiding from his own union members who want to string him up!

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  19. Nice one, Arky.
    Got a chuckle out of it.

    I am single, apart from the dogs who keep my feet warm at night and kill stuff during the day. But who shits on their food?

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  20. Perfectly reasonable commentary.

    My dunny seat is permanently down, however, as I reserve that bit of equipment for mighty, show-stopping grogans the size of Sherrins.

    I piss exclusively in the backyard.

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  21. Mrs Eddystone is not getting the current jabs, but is champing at the bit for Novavax to be “approved”.
    That’s what I expect I’ll end up doing.
    Not that I want to be vaxxed for covid at all. I certainly don’t want to give implicit endorsement to the AstraZeneca methodology, and have personal reasons for not wanting an mRNA vaccine. But if Maximum Leader carries out his threats to destroy the lives of the unvaxxed and the supine catamites of Victoria’s legislature let him, I’ll eventually succumb. Novavax would be the least bad option for me among the vaxxes.

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  22. Two dunnies side by side would always keep it companionable and restore marital harmony.

    I have been to this dunny myself in a pub in Galway.
    Are ye not takin’ a friend in too? asked the clientele as I walked through the bar. lol.

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