Federal Election Night 2022


The Polling from Humours of an Election series, William Hogarth, 1755

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Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 10:15 pm

Frydenberg lionising Liberal Party values. Lol! Looooooooser. Foad.

Ed Case
Ed Case
May 21, 2022 10:15 pm

Check the Bulimba+Oxford area, downriver.
Bulimba/Hawthorne?
Rough areas that have have been partly gentrified over the last 20 years.
Have a drive through Toorak sometime and see what affluence looks like.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 10:17 pm

Liberal Party values. No idea what these are.

Pedro the Loafer
Pedro the Loafer
May 21, 2022 10:19 pm

According to the half pissed crew here at Casa Pedro, calling the PM elect ” a fucking gap toothed wog” might be actionable.

Oh dear.

Winston Smith
May 21, 2022 10:19 pm

Zipster:

is it over yet?

Good God nO!
There’s still the postal votes to come in yet, The Fuhrers Wunder Waffe will save the day!
Conservatives to win many, many seats!

Fleeced
Fleeced
May 21, 2022 10:20 pm

Oh well, I’m off to bed. This is past my normal bedtime these days.

Night, Cats.

Makka
Makka
May 21, 2022 10:20 pm

Frydenberg lionising Liberal Party values.

Delusional.

Rabz
May 21, 2022 10:20 pm

I wonder if the targeted demise of the squish left of the Libs by the teals will teach them that parroting your opponents “ deep concerns” and repeating their talking points while promising to do what they want but a bit slower may actually not be a winning move

No, it won’t, funnily enough.

On the other hand, this has been the most emphatic vanquishing of soft, braindead, mediocre imbeciles I’ve witnessed in my many, many moons on this planet.

In any normal world, the ignominious crushing of the defeated might enable them to learn some lessons.

But not in Veneztralia … 😕

132andBush
132andBush
May 21, 2022 10:21 pm

I think the young, fully indoctrinated into the “climate scam” need some hardship which is why I wrote above about bringing on the blackouts.

Correct and I think we’ll find out soon enough.
I’ve been saying for 10-12 years now that people will have to die before the morons wake up.

I can’t remember who wrote the article, years ago, about it being an economic suicide note (Moran?) but we all know the gun has been at the head for years now, since Turnbull rolled Abbott.
Today has been the trigger squeeze.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 10:22 pm

The ABC has concluded that the remaining Liberal Party MPs are hard right, fire-breathing conservatives. Wouldn’t that be nice.

custard
custard
May 21, 2022 10:22 pm

Birmingham trying to square the results…

Winston Smith
May 21, 2022 10:23 pm

Calli:

Disagree. No one thinks they will be the ones affected. That is for others.
I await the yodels of dismay when the penny finally drops. For drop it will.

You’ve seen the flaw in their plan?
They’re waiting for the Saviour to come to their rescue, and haven’t realised their Saviour is larfing his guts out at the gullible fools…

Rabz
May 21, 2022 10:23 pm

Frydchickenberger lionising Gliberal Party values

The most legendary two second speech in human history.

Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
May 21, 2022 10:24 pm

Labor has just claimed Christian Porter’s former seat of Pearce for the first time in over thirty years.

Megan
Megan
May 21, 2022 10:25 pm

Time, once more, to raise the installation of a gas generator at Villa Megan with the resident co-treasurer. If we can see and the fridge continues to operate we can continue with our many retirement plans warm and well-fed. The Sicilian farmer will have to expand the vege garden and I will return to my roots of home made bread, preserving food and making jam.

Almost all those ignorant jelly brained voters who believed the media and the leftist horrified screams at the thought of using their super for a house was a bad idea will get neither a house nor a super payout that they can live on. They may not be able to keep their cars running either.

Their virtuous thoughts on how they voted to save the planet from frying will have to keep them from freezing to death in darkness. Without a mobile phone that works. I’ve reached the point of exasperation – there will be no pity from me.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 10:26 pm

Do you reckon Clive Palmer is going to get out of politics after this? The UAP is a complete turkey.

Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
May 21, 2022 10:27 pm

Albo’s going to have the biggest cross-bench in Australia’s history, and a Senate yet to be determined….

Megan
Megan
May 21, 2022 10:28 pm

The ABC has concluded that the remaining Liberal Party MPs are hard right, fire-breathing conservatives.

If that were even close to true it would be a good start on the decade long task of figuring out what principles are actually important and provide a base to reconfigure a party people will actually vote for.

I am not optimistic.

H B Bear
H B Bear
May 21, 2022 10:28 pm

Labor has just claimed Christian Porter’s former seat of Pearce for the first time in over thirty years.

Was always going to happen. Porter had to work hard in the past.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 10:28 pm

Holy shit. WA is kerb-stomping the Libs.

NoFixedAddress
NoFixedAddress
May 21, 2022 10:30 pm

Oh come on says:
May 21, 2022 at 10:17 pm

Liberal Party values. No idea what these are.

Depends what your prepared to pay.

The Liberal Party of Australia will hold any values you care to mention.

Winston Smith
May 21, 2022 10:30 pm

Cohenite:

Correct. Or if they are held that the demorats don’t cheat even better then they did against Trump. One will happen and the only solution will be a civil war which won’t happen since the demorats now control all the public armed forces and rugged individuals could not organise a chook raffle.

IIRC, it only took 3% of the American population to revolt with arms to defeat the poms. Once the gun wankers have turned in their weapons, we’ll see what happens.
Never forget that a populace that has lost everything and refuses to be happy is a formidable enemy.

H B Bear
H B Bear
May 21, 2022 10:30 pm

WA a bloodbath for the Lieborals (again).

Rabz
May 21, 2022 10:31 pm

He targeted the libs most vulnerable seats or at least seats he thought could be taken away, chose candidates he thought could win and here we are. It was actually a masterful campaign

Agreed, JC – and the gliberals were too stupid, arrogant and asleep at the wheel to even realise it was on.

Meaning Dim Wilson will be back at the IPA before you can say “conservative values”.

Megan
Megan
May 21, 2022 10:32 pm

How would a normal person form an opinion it’s shit ?

They can’t. Our education system has ensured that since the seventies. That’s pretty much the point I was trying to make. The single malt may have impacted my ability to form a coherent argument.

Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
May 21, 2022 10:33 pm

Ken Wyatt’s just lost Hasluck.

Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
May 21, 2022 10:34 pm

The single malt may have impacted my ability to form a coherent argument.

“Sliante!” Mine’s an Abelour..

Winston Smith
May 21, 2022 10:34 pm

Dillo!

I got 1o quick Schooners out of them. I’m counting this as a win.

Good man.
Free Beer is good beer.
Takes me back to the old days on pipeline construction when in half an hour, if you couldn’t get four schooners inta ya, then you were on the jackammer for the next hour.
Jeez they were great times.

Pedro the Loafer
Pedro the Loafer
May 21, 2022 10:35 pm

Pearce was doomed to go ALP as soon as they hived off the rural part of that electorate and transferred it to Durack.

Country voters traditionally vote LNP, and now gone elsewhere, the new dominat demographic of Pearce is pommy expats, reffos and the brain dead “gimme” denizens of the wastelands of Perth’s northern suburbs.

Enjoy, dickheads.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 10:35 pm

Peter Dutton rocking the chemo-chic look. It’s bad.

Isn’t Dutton an ex cop? Blech.

132andBush
132andBush
May 21, 2022 10:37 pm

The aboriginal industry will double in the next three years, just watch.

Rabz
May 21, 2022 10:37 pm

Ken Wyatt’s just lost Hasluck

🙂

Fair Shake
Fair Shake
May 21, 2022 10:37 pm

Enjoying a 16yo single mum.

Fair Shake
Fair Shake
May 21, 2022 10:38 pm

MALT! 16 yo single malt!

Farmer Gez
Farmer Gez
May 21, 2022 10:38 pm

I’ve been out all night.
Is there a chance Albo can govern without the mad mummies in Teal?

132andBush
132andBush
May 21, 2022 10:40 pm

Fair Shake says:
May 21, 2022 at 10:37 pm
Enjoying a 16yo single mum.

Typo of the year!

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 10:40 pm

Enjoying a 16yo single mum.

Oops

Rabz
May 21, 2022 10:40 pm

Blah – I misspelled “grateness”

Again. 🙂

Winston Smith
May 21, 2022 10:40 pm

JC:

Our largest or second export is coal, yet we’re voting in political parties that want to eliminate coal use to produce energy for domestic consumption.
This is mental illness.

Welcome to Wunderland!
Where feelz is more important than reality!
Until the Chinese decide to dig up our coal for themselves.

Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
May 21, 2022 10:40 pm

Isn’t Dutton an ex cop? Blech.

Yes – at one time I was happily spreading the rumor that the reason Tanya Plibersek hated him with a passion was that he was the copper who put one Michael Cotts – Trotter behind bars…….made a good story..

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 10:41 pm

That’s an acquired taste, for sure.

GreyRanga
GreyRanga
May 21, 2022 10:41 pm

I don’t know why people are so upset, it was only ever a choice which way the pineapple is inserted and whether you like it slow or quick.

Fair Shake
Fair Shake
May 21, 2022 10:41 pm

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed. Whoever invented autocorrect should go to hello.

areff
areff
May 21, 2022 10:41 pm

back to the unemployment line, Ken.

He can always do welcome to countrys. The fees are quite nice.

Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
May 21, 2022 10:42 pm

MALT! 16 yo single malt!

Lagavulin?

H B Bear
H B Bear
May 21, 2022 10:42 pm

… the new dominat demographic of Pearce is pommy expats, reffos and the brain dead “gimme” denizens of the wastelands of Perth’s northern suburbs.

Yep it will be a while before they get that one back.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 10:42 pm

ABC saying Libs lost it on climate change. Full of shit.

Rabz
May 21, 2022 10:42 pm

Enjoying a 16yo single mum

#typoswithalifeoftheirown

Bourne1879
Bourne1879
May 21, 2022 10:43 pm

Week in Pictures is up.

Pedro the Loafer
Pedro the Loafer
May 21, 2022 10:43 pm

Enough crankiness for tonight.

The resident hound has sensed the mood of the party night guests and retired under the house or maybe he just decided there were no more juicy pork ribs to be begged and said “stuff it, I’m off”.

Much plonk to be finished off, election TV’s switched to music channel.

There will be dancing. Possibly even some horizontal stuff later on.

‘Nite Cats.

Winston Smith
May 21, 2022 10:43 pm

Cohenite:

Some good news: nobody’s girl looks fucked.

Eeeewww! Hope the cameras were covered.

H B Bear
H B Bear
May 21, 2022 10:44 pm

FMD. How did the Lieborals lose Tangney?

Sancho Panzer
Sancho Panzer
May 21, 2022 10:45 pm

JCsays:
May 21, 2022 at 10:06 pm
You know, hats off to Slymon Simon. He targeted the libs most vulnerable seats or at least seats he thought could be taken away, chose candidates he thought could win and here we are. It was actually a masterful campaign.

Correct.
Much as I hate to say it.
Fat Cloive could have done the same.
Cherry-pick maybe ten seats, put some good candidates up, and concentrate the resources.
What did he end up with?
Half a dozen winnable candidates and a grab-bag of 144 losers who have been providing fodder for the press for the last fortnight.
The only winner out of Fat Cloive’s campaign was whoever has the import licence for yellow ink.

Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
May 21, 2022 10:45 pm

The aboriginal industry will double in the next three years, just watch.

Wasn’t Albanese promising a referendum into constitutional recognition, and a “voice” to Parliament?
Bring it on!

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 10:46 pm

I really hope the Senate is a trainwreck. Totally ungovernable.

Fair Shake
Fair Shake
May 21, 2022 10:46 pm

Lagavulin is correct

132andBush
132andBush
May 21, 2022 10:47 pm

There will be dancing. Possibly even some horizontal stuff later on.

Like I said earlier;
Better than this tractor cab.

Ed Case
Ed Case
May 21, 2022 10:47 pm

What’s Moderate about fucking some other fool up the arse?
Fake Moderates is correct.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 10:48 pm

Interesting that Annabel Crabb is wearing a red dress and teal-rimmed glasses. Just a coincidence, I’m sure.

duncanm
duncanm
May 21, 2022 10:48 pm

Rise of the Karens.

frightening, and true.

What’s the new party name. “Entitlement”, or “Complaint” ?

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 10:49 pm

You cook a shit curry, Morro.

Bourne1879
Bourne1879
May 21, 2022 10:50 pm

Big Clive is going to have to find a new hobby.

Buying a NRL team might be cheaper than playing politics.

Rabz
May 21, 2022 10:51 pm

Free beer is good beer

I’ve tried to imagine what life would be like without beer and it rapidly ends up resembling this ‘orrible scenario

However, as an economist, I will not countenance the illusory concept of free beer. If beer was free, then there’d be no need for government. Or anything else, for that matter.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 10:52 pm

Scomo hat tipped Ukraine in his concession speech. Shouted out the elders, past present and emerging. Fmd.

Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
May 21, 2022 10:52 pm

Lagavulin is correct

My compliments on your taste in single malt. I’m deciding whether to pour myself another Abelour.

Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
May 21, 2022 10:53 pm

Peter Dutton is claiming victory in his seat.

Zyconoclast
Zyconoclast
May 21, 2022 10:53 pm

Frydchickenberger lionising Gliberal Party values

The voters doing what the High Court wouldn’t

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 10:56 pm

What the hell are you talking about, Morro, you lying swine? The ADF is a Frankenstein’s monster.

Sancho Panzer
Sancho Panzer
May 21, 2022 10:56 pm

KD at 9:06.
Kroger fucking knew all of that two years ago and said nothing.
On the subject of religion, ScoMo promised that protection last election night. He then sat with his thumb up his arse for two and a half years, raised it with six months to go and kicked it off to a committee.
That totally encapsulates Morrison’s cynicism.

Ed Case
Ed Case
May 21, 2022 10:57 pm

When you stand up a Candidate like Katherine [Netball is an Issue] Deves in a seat you held for 70 years, Voters elsewhere are entitled to conclude you’re not very serious and probably a grifter.

Winston Smith
May 21, 2022 10:57 pm

Franx:

Some encouraging talk about the libs losses being an indication that the party, especially in Vic, need to honour their traditional base.

That’s an encouraging sign, Franx. Unfortunately the Lib Advisors will just ignore it because the stupid fucking Liberals have never gone outside their bubble and had a beer in the Strathfield Pub, or the Boulia Pub, or the Coolgardie pub. (Is it a pub if the beers not on tap and it just comes in giant eskies with young ladies whose sole talent is to take the top off tinnies and reload your bong?)

Megan
Megan
May 21, 2022 10:57 pm

I’ve just polished off the bottom two inches of Tamnavulin. I’ll be onto the Glenrothes next.

Rabz
May 21, 2022 10:57 pm

Ukrainian Elders – WTF?

“They are of these mighty steel works which were never ceded”

“Until they were …”

“Just as we never mandated vaccines, except when we did”

Good riddance, you fat bloated utterly useless boofhead.

Enjoy acquainting yourself with Centrelink, Fatso.

Fair Shake
Fair Shake
May 21, 2022 10:58 pm

ZK2A
I’d love to claim credit but am on holidays house sitting for a friend. Told me to help myself to the whiskeys. As this was one of his cheaper bottles I had a wee dram.

Ps The Sunshine Coast is a misnomer.

Megan
Megan
May 21, 2022 10:59 pm

I’m still laughing at Fair Shake’s single mum! Might be alcohol enhanced hysteria.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 10:59 pm

Morrison failed to protect the Australian people from the predations of the state premiers who continue to persecute Covid dissidents. He can fuck right off.

Shut up and fuck off, Morrison.

Ed Case
Ed Case
May 21, 2022 11:00 pm

He’s won the seat, Zulu.
Against the national trend.
Labor hasn’t won a seat in Queensland and they’ve lost Griffith.
Greens have won 3 in Brisbane, 2 from L[iberal]NP and Griffith from Labor.

Colonel Crispin Berka
Colonel Crispin Berka
May 21, 2022 11:01 pm

H B Bear says: May 21, 2022 at 10:44 pm

FMD. How did the Lieborals lose Tangney?

Well Tangney had a great MP in the form of Dr Dennis Jensen, who then suddenly and inexplicably voted for Turnbull in the leadership spill, except he’d told the truth about climate too many times, so it was downhill ever since.

m0nty
m0nty
May 21, 2022 11:04 pm

Thanks Crimmins that’s over.

Ed Case
Ed Case
May 21, 2022 11:04 pm

Morrison failed to protect the Australian people from the predations of the state premiers who continue to persecute Covid dissidents.
Neither will Albanese, Federal Government doesn’t have that Power.

Indolent
Indolent
May 21, 2022 11:05 pm

Does anyone know what happened in Hughes?

Cassie of Sydney
May 21, 2022 11:06 pm

“KD at 9:06.
Kroger fucking knew all of that two years ago and said nothing.
On the subject of religion, ScoMo promised that protection last election night. He then sat with his thumb up his arse for two and a half years, raised it with six months to go and kicked it off to a committee.
That totally encapsulates Morrison’s cynicism.”

Yep.

Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
May 21, 2022 11:07 pm

Does anyone know if faux Aborigine, Lidia Thorpe, Greens Senator for Victoria, was facing the voters today?

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:07 pm

Dai Le is gunna win it! KKK is out, cheerio

Sancho Panzer
Sancho Panzer
May 21, 2022 11:07 pm

H B Bearsays:

May 21, 2022 at 10:44 pm

FMD. How did the Lieborals lose Tangney?

Well, it all started back in 2009.
The Liberal Party had this complete moron, Michael Trumble, who had a hissy fit and threatened to flounce from the party.
Which the party could have gracefully accepted, shut the fuck up and counted their blessings.
But then this other chap, Howard, intervened and pleaded with the moron to stay.
The rest is history.

vr
vr
May 21, 2022 11:08 pm

Did the Libs retain Ryan?

Winston Smith
May 21, 2022 11:08 pm

Megan:

I’ve just polished off the bottom two inches of Tamnavulin. I’ll be onto the Glenrothes next.

I’ve no idea of what Tamnavulin is but if it’s what sheilahs drink, I’ll put it on the list of trade goods for WTSHTF.

Fair Shake
Fair Shake
May 21, 2022 11:09 pm

Lidia Thorpe must have had to face the voters. Her mug was on the A boards outside the polling booths.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:12 pm

The ABC is using their ‘vote compass’ as an authoritative barometer of national opinion. What a joke.

m0nty
m0nty
May 21, 2022 11:13 pm

The Libs are stuffed. Good riddance to them. They closed themselves off to small-l liberal women, and they just got their bunnies boiled.

The new Parliament will look a lot more European, with many of the positives and negatives that entails.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:13 pm

Morro absolutely could have made life much more difficult for tyrannical state premiers.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:14 pm

The Libs are stuffed. Good riddance to them

I’m with you there.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:16 pm

Looking forward to a schizophrenic Senate to really gum up the works.

P
P
May 21, 2022 11:17 pm

Sitting MP Craig Kelly’s time in parliament is over. He has gained just over eight per cent of the primary vote in his new role as a United Australia Party candidate.

Thank you Craig. Thank you.

Megan
Megan
May 21, 2022 11:17 pm

I’ve no idea of what Tamnavulin is but if it’s what sheilahs drink…

Speyside single malt. Just one of the many malts this particular sheila will drink. My Scots DNA demands it on a regular basis.

Colonel Crispin Berka
Colonel Crispin Berka
May 21, 2022 11:18 pm

Oh come on says: May 21, 2022 at 11:12 pm

The ABC is using their ‘vote compass’ as an authoritative barometer of national opinion. What a joke.

If only there was a word to describe that!

Winston Smith
May 21, 2022 11:18 pm

Aha! It looks like Tamavulin is great with fanta!.
Oh Megan. I am so disappointed.
(OK. Not that disappointed – just taking the piss. Haven’t tried it before.)
The Galway Pipe is looking seductive,
Will I?
Won’t I?
What size glass is required? I have a shot glass, a Vegemite jar – sans lid of course. Do i look like a barbarian? A pyrex 250ml jug?
I wouldn’t want to look line a bogan…

Cassie of Sydney
May 21, 2022 11:19 pm

“The new Parliament will look a lot more European, with many of the positives and negatives that entails.”

Wow, Monty’s a self confessed White Australia Policy fan, he only wants Europeans in parliament.

Megan
Megan
May 21, 2022 11:19 pm

Morrison has resigned as leader. Good riddance, you pathetic blancmange of leadership nothingness.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:19 pm

Shock upset – Bob Katter won!

Ed Case
Ed Case
May 21, 2022 11:19 pm

Leigh Sales has gone Energizer Bunny now Labor is assured of Government.

Armadillo
Armadillo
May 21, 2022 11:20 pm

Any electorate in Australia that dared vote National is about to get the shit kicked out of it. That new dam? Nah. We are building a new bike track to nowhere.

Megan
Megan
May 21, 2022 11:20 pm

I wouldn’t want to look line a bogan…

Try a straw, Winston. And a wee pink umbrella.

m0nty
m0nty
May 21, 2022 11:20 pm

A quick roll call of gains and close seats from Pollbludger:

NEW SOUTH WALES
Bennelong LIB AHEAD
Bradfield LIB AHEAD
Cowper NAT AHEAD
Fowler IND AHEAD
Gilmore LIB AHEAD
Mackellar IND AHEAD
North Sydney IND AHEAD
Reid ALP GAIN
Richmond ALP AHEAD
Robertson ALP AHEAD
Wentworth IND AHEAD
VICTORIA
Casey LIB AHEAD
Chisholm ALP GAIN
Deakin LIB AHEAD
Goldstein IND AHEAD
Higgins ALP GAIN
Kooyong IND AHEAD
Macnamara ALP AHEAD
Menzies LIB AHEAD
Monash LIB AHEAD
Nicholls NAT AHEAD
QUEENSLAND
Brisbane LNP AHEAD
Dickson LNP AHEAD
Griffith GRN GAIN
Leichhardt LNP AHEAD
Ryan GRN AHEAD
TASMANIA
Bass LIB AHEAD
Lyons ALP AHEAD
AUSTRALIAN CAPITAL TERRITORY
SOUTH AUSTRALIA
Boothby ALP AHEAD
Sturt LIB AHEAD
NORTHERN TERRITORY
Lingiari ALP AHEAD
WESTERN AUSTRALIA
Curtin IND AHEAD
Durack LIB AHEAD
Hasluck ALP GAIN
Moore LIB AHEAD
Pearce ALP GAIN
Swan ALP GAIN
Tangney ALP AHEAD

Winston Smith
May 21, 2022 11:20 pm

I wouldn’t want to look line a bogan…
I wouldn’t want to look like a bogan…
Where’s my frigging strike out button?
Dover Beach, get your shit together…

MatrixTransform
May 21, 2022 11:22 pm

on the telly just now

“Cheaper Power Prices”, blubbered Plibbers

watching this shit burn is going to be pretty funny at times

Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
May 21, 2022 11:22 pm

Lidia Thorpe must have had to face the voters. Her mug was on the A boards outside the polling booths.

It seems as though she’ll retain her Senate seat, but Jacinta Price is expected to claim one of two Senate seats for the Northern Territory…..

“To the honorable Greens Senator from Victoria, may I very respectfully ask, when was the last time you set foot in an outback community..”

Fair Shake
Fair Shake
May 21, 2022 11:22 pm

Could Penny ask Uncle Xi to relax the trade restrictions put on Australia’s goods now. There’s a good chap.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:26 pm

Cheaper Power Prices”, blubbered Plibbers

Yeah I caught that, too. This is based on the presumption that more renewballs = cheaper energy. Okay.

Ed Case
Ed Case
May 21, 2022 11:26 pm

Julian Simmonds lost Ryan to the Greens.
It’s been raining in Brisbane for 3 months straight and like it or not, clinically depressed people will tend to vote Green.

Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
May 21, 2022 11:27 pm

Memo to Scott Morrison.

Gentleman. Library. Crystal decanter. Service pistol.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:27 pm

The UAP is a complete stinker.

Megan
Megan
May 21, 2022 11:27 pm

This is based on the presumption that more renewballs = cheaper energy.

An equation that only works in cloud cuckoo land.

Winston Smith
May 21, 2022 11:28 pm

Vagabond:

If the federal integrity commission gets up I expect the SFLs will be be too stupid to clog it up with allegations about liars, teals and greens. It would be great to see the scum hoist on their own collective petards.

To hell with the Petards, Vagabond. I want to see them strung up by their nuts and thrown with a collection of diseased monkeypox victims by Trebuchets into the city wall of Canberra with the diseased gobbets of their innards raining down over the citadels of power in that puddle called … called … whatever it is called…
Heavens. Galway Pipe is a little stronger than I thought.

H B Bear
H B Bear
May 21, 2022 11:29 pm

Watching the ALPBC Plibbers worse than useless. A Liars affirmative action appointment. All conquering Albo safe for this term thanks to KRuddy.

Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare
Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare
May 21, 2022 11:29 pm

I seriously don’t know if I want to live under what’s coming to Australia.

Britain has provided us with the experience a little bit further along the path to doom. People are fractious but as I’ve said, the religion of climate is a very big foot to be trapped under with no way out. On the current exchange rate food prices are not really any worse than in Australia, but feelings are running high about them in terms of local wages. So how is the little Aussie dollar going now? I’m glad we’ve spent a lot when we did, and will continue to do so rather than leave it for Albo to guzzle on. But we are due in the US in October – guess Biden will do a good enough job in holding the USD down sufficient for us to cope.

Fair Shake
Fair Shake
May 21, 2022 11:29 pm

Addendum to
memo for Scott Morrison:
Professor Plum. Candlestick. As backup.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:30 pm

Big picture: the pendulum was due to swing back the other way. Generally, the coalition has looked tired and due for a spell in opposition.

Annabel Crabb says it’s all about the wymminsez.

Armadillo
Armadillo
May 21, 2022 11:31 pm

Starvation will be a good “wake up call” for the City folk.

Winston Smith
May 21, 2022 11:31 pm

Isn’t this shit great?
I told you this decade would be anything but boring!

m0nty
m0nty
May 21, 2022 11:31 pm

The UAP is a complete stinker.

Simon Holmes a Court tipped in $12M and will get infinitely more ROI than Clive will for his $80M or whatever.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:32 pm

The good news is that it seems the new government appears to have chalked up its success to all of the wrong reasons. I’m heartened by this greatly.

P
P
May 21, 2022 11:33 pm

May God bless you and your family abundantly, Craig Kelly.

Happy Birthday to my son. 26 years of running against the wind.
Mar 15, 2022

Salvatore, Understaffed & Overworked Martyr to Govt Covid Stupidity

The UAP is a complete stinker.

Somebody picked up the
70% of the vote that did not go to Labor.

If it weren’t Clive, then his chequebook is going to have one helluva hangover.

Cassie of Sydney
May 21, 2022 11:33 pm

“Oh come onsays:
May 21, 2022 at 11:27 pm
The UAP is a complete stinker.”

Well….unsurprising. But we’ll see what happens in the senate.

Knuckle Dragger
Knuckle Dragger
May 21, 2022 11:34 pm

The new Parliament will look a lot more European, with many of the positives and negatives that entails.

Extensive punch-ons, with a bit of luck.

Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare
Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare
May 21, 2022 11:35 pm

Cassie, we’ll join you for four drinks each later today for we are receiving this awful electoral news stone cold sober, which is extremely sobering indeed. Big hugs to you from us both, and all Cats in our broad ambit will all have to get together at ours for the post-mortem when this dust settles. Shocking to hear that Allegra the Airhead is now our rep in leafy Wentworth. Damnation to all of our stupid neighbours, except for Walter on Quadrant, who has been a ray of sunshine, anonymous of course. 😉

We will be back in about twelve days now, well-blooded here for the days ahead in Oz.

Salvatore, Understaffed & Overworked Martyr to Govt Covid Stupidity

The pity of it is, Simon Holmes a Court is much more of an arsehole than is Clive Palmer.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:35 pm

Simon Holmes a Court tipped in $12M and will get infinitely more ROI than Clive will for his $80M or whatever

Fully agree. It’s just embarrassing. Clive needs to give it up.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:39 pm

“People are tired of cynical politics”

– Tanya Plibersek

Colonel Crispin Berka
Colonel Crispin Berka
May 21, 2022 11:40 pm

Clive needs to give it up.

He should retire and go back to not building Titanics in the garden.

Knuckle Dragger
Knuckle Dragger
May 21, 2022 11:40 pm

Backing Elbow in to lead off his victory speech with ‘How good’s Australia?’

Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
May 21, 2022 11:40 pm

The pity of it is, Simon Holmes a Court is much more of an arsehole than is Clive Palmer.

Well said, Sal.

Armadillo
Armadillo
May 21, 2022 11:41 pm

Look on the bright side.

The Liberal left just got destroyed.

Winston Smith
May 21, 2022 11:41 pm

Makka:

Watch the STUPID FKG LIBERALS go way left now, chasing the punters. Within a few years the Aussie Dollar will have a 5 in front of it, inflation will be double figures and the debt will be close to 200% of GDP. Albo’s crew will be clueless what to do other than squadrons of helicopter money. Just to get the votes and have the Treasury. As I said this morning, we’re fucked. I’m upping my gold investments.

I’m expecting a little (minor) windfall and hoping the gold price stays at the current floating around 2.6k/2.7 k /oz mark. It won’t be much, but if the current trends continue…
Got rid of a few kilos of silver a bit early but nevertheless as a defence input it’s at it’s peak.
I’ll be buying into gold at <5k/oz before I re-evaluate my position.

Sancho Panzer
Sancho Panzer
May 21, 2022 11:41 pm

Oh come onsays:

May 21, 2022 at 11:27 pm

The UAP is a complete stinker

That has been heresy among some here, but ultimately proven to be true.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:42 pm

That Wong chap is on.

Cassie of Sydney
May 21, 2022 11:43 pm

“Salvatore, Understaffed & Overworked Martyr to Govt Covid Stupiditysays:
May 21, 2022 at 11:35 pm
The pity of it is, Simon Holmes a Court is much more of an arsehole than is Clive Palmer.”

Absolutely, a hundred times more of an arsehole, but Siiiiiimooon’s a progressive so he gets a free pass.

So here’s my prediction, what’s Zoo Daniel, Princess Allegra Da Big Spenda, that fat slag Monique Ryan et al going to achieve? Well in the immortal words of John Spender, Princess Allegra’s daddy, in 1990, when he lost the seat of North Sydney to INDEPENDENT Ted Mack, he was asked what Mack as an independent would achieve and Spender’s response was………..

“nothing, absolutely nothing”.

Touche Mr Spender.

MatrixTransform
May 21, 2022 11:43 pm

Extensive punch-ons

there’s better be shoes and lots of ’em

Knuckle Dragger
Knuckle Dragger
May 21, 2022 11:43 pm

Asian lesbian delivers Welcome to Country.

The next three years, right there.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:45 pm

Getting very, very strong Joe Biden vibes from Penny Wong’s speech.

Winston Smith
May 21, 2022 11:45 pm

Bourne 1879:

Not seen any updates on Dutton for a while. If Josh is gone plus many of the lefty moderates then surely Dutton will have the numbers to win leadership if he holds his seat.

So when will we see our new subs?

MatrixTransform
May 21, 2022 11:46 pm

So when will we see our new subs?

could take a while

they’re converting them to solar

Knuckle Dragger
Knuckle Dragger
May 21, 2022 11:47 pm

Elbow.

Oh, suffering Christ.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:47 pm

‘this is a win for all of the following identity groups. Also, we’re going to unite the country’

Lolllllllllll what a clusterfuck this is going to be

m0nty
m0nty
May 21, 2022 11:47 pm

Encouraging to see Wong and Albo both leading up front with the mandate for change. You know what that means, Cats! Lots of stuff that you lot will hate with a passion.

Good.

P
P
May 21, 2022 11:48 pm

The 31st Prime Minister of Australia.
May God protect us, please.

Armadillo
Armadillo
May 21, 2022 11:51 pm

Getting very, very strong Joe Biden vibes from Penny Wong’s speech.

Absolutely. This won’t end well for them. They are using the same “playbook”.

Winston Smith
May 21, 2022 11:52 pm

C.L.

Mr Zimmerman, the first openly gay MP elected to the lower house, hugged his partner Carlos Toledo at the conclusion of his speech.

Thank God the ‘wife ‘ didn;t get a “Hi Honey I’m Home” doorway rogering live on camera.

As an aside, who remembers impromptu lounge room sex, then hallway sex, because you didn’t make it to the bedroom in time?
Memories.

Rex Anger
Rex Anger
May 21, 2022 11:53 pm

Gillard Era 2.0, anyone?

#GoodAndHard

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:53 pm

Encouraging to see Wong and Albo both leading up front with the mandate for change

Because Rudd-Gillard-Rudd worked so well for you lot last time, m0nts.

This is a good thing. The Australian electorate requires a periodic reminder of the reality of a Labor government to knock some sense into us.

m0nty
m0nty
May 21, 2022 11:55 pm

Albo’s speech is as much directed at the teals and Senate independents as it is the public. He’s got the job in front of him to herd those cats. He’s probably the best man in the country for that job though, given how well he did it under Gillard in minority. Doing it with a handful of Reps votes up his sleeve should be a doddle in relative terms, especially since the Libs will be a rabble.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:55 pm

Hoo boy. Buckle up.

areff
areff
May 21, 2022 11:57 pm

I see were going to get a federal department of Voices and Welcomes to Country.

Colonel Crispin Berka
Colonel Crispin Berka
May 21, 2022 11:58 pm

M0
M0..
M0….

You know what that means, Cats! Lots of stuff that you lot will hate with a passion.

M0ntyburgerrrrr™!

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 21, 2022 11:58 pm

I wonder if, in 18 months or so, PM Plibbers will be paying tribute to her predecessor’s great achievement in acknowledging that Uluru heartland statement or whatever the hell it is.

Back to the future.

Fair Shake
Fair Shake
May 21, 2022 11:59 pm

Rounding Christmas Island. Full steam ahead! Australia here we come.

Winston Smith
May 21, 2022 11:59 pm

Hallway sex:
Too many memories for me.
Goodnight – catchup in the morning.
Perhaps the alcohol will help tonight.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 22, 2022 12:00 am

Fucking hell. These people won govt with 30% of the primary vote.

Rex Anger
Rex Anger
May 22, 2022 12:00 am

Lots of stuff that you lot will hate with a passion.

Good.

That’s all right, Benito M0ntylini.

Even you are going to be wobbling your jowls in pain and sorrow before May 2026 rolls round. *

Socialism loves to share its miseries, after all… 🙂

#CostOfLiving

* Fantasy Football Tipping requires folks of relatively modest means with a little excess of capital to invest in such fripperies. Rich people these days play Rugby, or- As Simon Holes á Court’s minions and sycophants demonstrate- Chicken with poorer peoples’ livelihoods…

Wally Dali
Wally Dali
May 22, 2022 12:00 am

Shopping List speech from Albo. Not exactly weaving a narrative.

vr
vr
May 22, 2022 12:03 am

Will the market open lower on Monday?

Cassie of Sydney
May 22, 2022 12:03 am

“Even you are going to be wobbling your jowls in pain and sorrow before May 2026 rolls round. *”

RA…you mean before May 2025 rolls around. Thankfully we don’t have four year terms federally…..and may we never have four year terms federally.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 22, 2022 12:04 am

Albo’s weird, stilted kiss with his ‘partner’ suggests he hasn’t forgotten the allures of the Thai massage parlour.

pete of perth
pete of perth
May 22, 2022 12:04 am

Stock up on baby formula

Rex Anger
Rex Anger
May 22, 2022 12:06 am

[Elbow’s] probably the best man in the country for that job though, given how well he did it under Gillard in minority.

Really, Benito M0ntylini?

I was under the impression ol’ Rub-n-Tug was using her as ablative armour for his own Torry-fighting ambitions all those years. And depending on the day, said ‘Torries’ looked like everything from actual ‘Torries’ to Kevni Rudd, that Wong chap and Plibbers herself.

And the great unwashed when he had no-one better…

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 22, 2022 12:07 am

Lol – listen to the tone of the ABC commentary. Contrast with election night, 2019.

Of course the national broadcaster is unbiased. Fmd. Just listen to this Karvelas chickvs tongue bath.

P
P
May 22, 2022 12:08 am

May God forgive ths country for what they have done.

Sancho Panzer
Sancho Panzer
May 22, 2022 12:09 am

Very strange.
A general swing to Labor.
But the Oz reports KKK is the victim of some swing against Labor.
The media cannot bring themselves to say it.
The vacuous but ambitious hair-flicker is hated by the electorate.
She only ‘wins’ when parachuted into casual vacancies.
But no doubt a cushy consolation sinecure awaits.

Rabz
May 22, 2022 12:09 am

Sharma, Falinski and Zimmerman

Will lead what remains of the gliberals even further into collectivism.

Oh, wait – they were punted.

What remains of non collectivist politicians in Oz after this evening’s disastrous results?

If you aren’t a collectivist, tonight’s results should be a wake up call.

Three years of these evil drooling cretins may just be tolerable, six years and you wake up one morning in Venezuela.

That is, you’re blundering off to Taronga (on foot, of course) hoping to chow down on some fresh pachyderm carcase.

areff
areff
May 22, 2022 12:09 am

Of course the national broadcaster is unbiased.

They can afford to be. The defeated candidate just game them $3.3 billion to blackguard him, a wish with which they happily complied.

Armadillo
Armadillo
May 22, 2022 12:10 am

Fucking hell. These people won govt with 30% of the primary vote.

No. They manipulated the vote.

pete of perth
pete of perth
May 22, 2022 12:10 am

McGowan’s response… recon covid-restrictions on Monday & the iron curtain back up.

Armadillo
Armadillo
May 22, 2022 12:11 am

Independents my arse.

Helen
Helen
May 22, 2022 12:16 am

Captain watched Albos victory speech. Captain thinks Albo is on the way with parkinsons, by him struggling to hold his lips from twitching or something, maybe he is having trouble with his dentures, sez I. Maybe it’s botox?

Helen
Helen
May 22, 2022 12:20 am

No, I’ve seen to many in the early stages sez he, its parkinsons.

Rex Anger
Rex Anger
May 22, 2022 12:21 am

“Even you are going to be wobbling your jowls in pain and sorrow before May 2026 rolls round. *”

RA…you mean before May 2025 rolls around. Thankfully we don’t have four year terms federally…..and may we never have four year terms federally.

Guilty as charged, M’Lady!

I remember the Rudd-Gillard-Rudd years as times in which I got to run around in the bush shouting BANG! due to no allocatable stocks of blank ammunition for Reservists and non-deploying Regular units alike to train, and then having long periods of no Training Days* on top of that from 2009 to Election Day 2011. All the while Defence had to maintain an Operational Tempo as equally intense as Vietnam on a 1938 budget. Those years could not end soon enough.

* Reservists are legally meant to be allocated a minimum of 100 days to Parade (i.e. turn up and train or work) per Financial Year. And what keeps units ticking is the hard cadre of folks who use every last one they can get. The Defence Budget got so eroded under Kevni and Julia that everyone lost out. And Regular Army non-SOCOMD units with all the Reservist roundouts they could squeeze in still had to maintain 8-monthly rotations in Afghanistan throughout that whole time. And Solomon Islands peacekeeping gigs. And Timor. And the wind-down in Iraq. And various UN Observer missions, too.

Salvatore, Understaffed & Overworked Martyr to Govt Covid Stupidity

All the New Australian “Little Brown People” first time voters at my workplace voted PHON.
They’re going to be disappointed.

areff
areff
May 22, 2022 12:22 am

Photios must the most miserable person in NSW: All his bought-and-paid-for hacks gone.

Not bad thing, when you think about it.

Now comes the referendum on the Voice nonsense. Sure to go down, and that will battle will be key.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 22, 2022 12:22 am

PHON got a higher primary vote than UAP.

Give it up, Clive.

Salvatore, Understaffed & Overworked Martyr to Govt Covid Stupidity

The sheila hired to be Albo’s pretend girlfriend has just had the chore contract extended by a few years.

Judging by the half-hearted effort she put into the ‘raised joined hands’ hokey-pokey after the victory speech, she may be somewhat ambivalent at not being off the hook.

Rex Anger
Rex Anger
May 22, 2022 12:27 am

Now comes the referendum on the Voice nonsense. Sure to go down, and that will battle will be key.

Will we see a rerun of the same ‘nudge’ tactics we saw the Marriage ‘Equality’ movement employ in order to ensure their preferred outcome came about, you reckon?

Rabz
May 22, 2022 12:28 am

OK. The results are a disaster.

Is there anyone in this country who can purvey our views to those out there that may be receptive?

No and Sky after Dark is not that place.

P.S. mUttley – refer to this comment even obliquely and you will not live to regret it. You fat collectivist imbecile (BIRM). You are an excrescence of excrement and you have been warned. Just f*ck off.

OldOzzie
OldOzzie
May 22, 2022 12:29 am
Rabz
May 22, 2022 12:51 am

These people won govt with 30% of the primary vote

Wow. So many errors in a ten word sentence. Let’s do some parsing.

People – they are not, weird incoherent welfare dependent imbeciles, perhaps
Won – no, rigged game
govt – ideologues
30% – about 25%
vote – rigged game (again)

If this result doesn’t trigger HOP Time then someone (who is not a collectivist) will have to go and commune across this continent with Ozzies, at length.

Craigo, Fat Clive, Pauline, the Mad Katter, the Ruddick – these people are not even remotely capable of communicating with normal Ozzies (with the possible exception of the very latter).

I nominate KD and his trusty sidekick, Pancho Sanches. 🙂

Armadillo
Armadillo
May 22, 2022 12:55 am

Australia has always been a “testing ground” or a “copy book”. Just look at “Kevin 07”. Everything is drawn from American strategists.

Different political system altogether (voting is non compulsory in America). However, if you can draw enough people away with “bogus” candidates, you can sway enough voters to alter an election. Fund them.

The Democrats in America must be getting “a woody” over what happened in the Australian elections today. You just need to get enough people to be enthused enough to vote for a “one issue” candidate (lets say Trans rights), then you have stripped the opposing party of a % of votes. Multiply it on single issues.

They aren’t going to win with 2% of the vote. Who cares? But they are going to strip an opposing party with a thin majority of votes. Fund them.

That’s what happened today.

Tommbell
Tommbell
May 22, 2022 12:55 am

One boat on its way. Assume the Armada can’t be far behind.

Armadillo
Armadillo
May 22, 2022 1:09 am

Look at the Nationals vote. Didn’t waiver much in the country areas.

City seats were a different story. A margin of 5% in a Metro area can be swayed by a few bogus candidates promising stuff that can’t be delivered, but is something dear to their hearts. Multiply it. Inch by inch. Just got to “get enough” to stop people voting for a particular candidate.

Now, look to the US. Rowe Vs Wade. Nuclear option. Joes fucked and desperate.

Oh come on
Oh come on
May 22, 2022 1:21 am

It’s all good. Not as though this was an unexpected result. Nor an undeserved one.

I will admit that if the Senate isn’t a complete clusterfuck, I’ll be disappointed.

Armadillo
Armadillo
May 22, 2022 2:54 am

Here is the thing that struck me about today.

Reluctantly did the HTV thing. Guzzled a few beers and went home. As you do.

Pretty sure that no one in the room realised the gravity of the situation. “Yeah, we won” the seat. The reality is possibly sinking into them right now.

At heart, they are very good people, but somewhat naive.

Looking around the room, Mrs A and I wondered about their staff. You could see the anxiety in their eyes. New boss? As you would. A credit to to them.

No longer Deputy PM, but just a backbencher. And all that means.

He probably should just “dust himself off” and escalate.

Armadillo
Armadillo
May 22, 2022 3:20 am

Nothing to lose. In fact, he’s in a position of strength.

If the “lily livered” Liberals won’t take the fight to the Greens/Reds/Teals, it’s about time someone bloody well did.

Hunger is a weapon that unfortunately the world is about to discover. Again.

Figures
Figures
May 22, 2022 5:00 am

Even with ScoMo we still would have ended up like Sri Lanka eventually but now we’re barely going to have time to say goodbye to our loved ones before it happens.

The people of France are more liberty conscious than Australians.

2dogs
2dogs
May 22, 2022 5:24 am

The Lib organizational fella on the ABC was making all the right noises about the Lib constituency now residing in the suburbs

+1

This course of this parliament is going to be marked by high inflation and interest rates. Interest rates so high that people will lose their homes as house prices fall.

The people who will be most affected by this have just voted in Teal independents. They will have no voice in either government or opposition.

egg_
egg_
May 22, 2022 6:00 am

watching this shit burn is going to be pretty funny at times

Nailed it.

“Burn the place down”* is redundant with leftism, they do self-immolation quite well.

Leftoid districts are just as dilapidated in Oz as the US – strip the guts out of the middle/working class “Common wealth” for their despotic hobby horse spending sprees.

*Recall that Lefoid US journo cvnt (woman) on Q&A?

egg_
egg_
May 22, 2022 6:10 am

Could Penny ask Uncle Xi to relax the trade restrictions put on Australia’s goods now. There’s a good chap.

Amen.

You’re lucky to get a few bucks off local Aus prices (which are likely onshore Sino warehouses, anyway) on eBay thanks to Jerry Harvey, our very own Dr Boob Gates.

I guess Harvey could go down the Bezos Amazon route and have no staff dunnies and delivery drivers p1ssing in a bottle to meet schedules (‘Uncle Roger’ recently lampooned some Amazon UK audience members on same).

egg_
egg_
May 22, 2022 6:17 am

This course of this parliament is going to be marked by high inflation and interest rates. Interest rates so high that people will lose their homes as house prices fall.

‘In the Interests of the People’ is predicting stagflation and high house prices, due to Reserve Bank fiddling interest rates to keep the banks (whose core business is home mortgage lending) afloat.

Sh1te outcome for any aspirational renters, etc.

Zipster
Zipster
May 22, 2022 6:22 am

Auztrarians vote for their very own nakba and a jolly good enwokening

Chairman Xi approved

egg_
egg_
May 22, 2022 6:26 am

Annabel Crabb says it’s all about the wymminsez.

Including Trans, or is she discriminating?

No longer yoofful, Crabb should stick to being a shearers cook back on the ancestral farm in Hicksville S.A.*, her true vocation in life.

/Kitchen Cabinet – full of cooking sherry

*Tautology?

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