I was stooged again by the missus and ended up at Southland Shopping Centre on Sunday.
She’s got a way of making lunch not seem like shopping and I fell for it again like the pasty I am.
So there’s a new Japanese that seems nice and the missus told me about the robots that bring the food like its a good thing.
We went there.
This joint’s automated and the first thing that happens is we get instructions from one of the humanoid kiddies:
1: select from the touch-screen
2: add to the cart
3: send the order
4: your food will be delivered
5: and pay at the counter when yr done
Then she gestures with an open hand to the cash register where there’s another possible humanoid with a permanent grin.
No immediate threat, I thought to myself but that was when I noticed what was behind her on the shelf. One of those Asian gold cats with the kitten-eyes and an arm that’s waving waving … always waving.
So while waiting for food and with one eye on that freaky cat, I watched.
All the actual human kiddies stood around essentially doing nothing until a robot arrived and then they unpacked the food dispassionately. No visible emotion, it was almost like they were trying to out-robot the robots.
Cold like the pot-stickers ultimately were.
A returning robot smacked straight into the chair leg of the table beside us.
I’m sitting there smiling at the farce and saying “stupid bloody robots” … just a little bit too loud.
And the missus is cringing because she knows that I could equally be commenting about:
a: the wait staff
b: the machines
c: the customers
d: the sheer absurdity of it all
But this old Polish bloke beside me at the next table is chuckling because he can overhear me.
Looking at him and smiling, I peck peck pecked the touchscreen for more food. Raising my eye-brows I said, “I feel like a chicken”, and exaggerated the pecking motion with my hand.
The bloke’s wetting himself while his wife is pretending to search her hand-bag and mine is pretending that this isn’t really happening.
Maybe its my weird sense of humour but I think its hilarious that I was actually ordering more chicken at the time.