There is a line in the movie True Romance (1993) spoken by Clarence Worley, Christian Slater’s character, where he says:

I ain’t no fag but Elvis was prettier than most women, you know, most women. I’ve always said if I had to fuck a guy, I mean had to, if my life depended on it, I’d fuck Elvis.

You can take it that Clarence is a fan of Elvis.

I have never been a fan of any man to remotely close to that extent, however famous. At any rate, nobody who didn’t play for Liverpool football team. So, I am not a fan of Steve Waterson, who writes for The Australian, in nearly the same way as Clarence is of Elvis. For which he and I should both be truly thankful, amen.

But let me say, Waterson is a damn fine writer. I read The Australian as a chore. It is barely the best of a bad lot. And even when the odd writer strikes the right conservative note the product is usually pedestrian. I find myself speed reading, skipping sentences, to keep ennui at bay. Not so with Waterson’s writing.

During Covid his articles were riveting, entertaining, passionate. Quite simply they were the best that I read during that grotesque time of confected alarm. Better than anything sourced from America or the UK.

Now, I seem to recall being annoyed by something he wrote about the great Donald Trump. I don’t want to dwell on it. We all have our faults and foibles. Think of Cate Blanchett’s brilliant performance as a psychic in The Gift (2000) to put her warped political views in perspective.

Yes, I can be forgiving when it suits me. And it suits me with Waterson. At least for the time being – see my end caveat.

I had just finished reading his article in last week’s Weekend Australian (“Believe me, we are all suffering for your art,” March 1-2), when I decided to write about his talent. His article is a withering takedown of artists living off the public teat. Of course, the subject appealed to me. Said artists are all as woke, green and left as could possibly be dreamt up in a conservative’s worst nightmare. But that is not it.

It is the writing. It is full of pace and energy. You don’t want it to stop. That is the test. These days few pass the test. Though Tim Blair is worth mentioning in despatches. Of course, there are others. Chris Uhlmann writes well on the climate scam. Pity about his TDS. Absolutely avoid Henry Ergas unless you want tedious accounts of Greek tragedies and other pretentious waffle.  See today in the Weekend Australian. Second thoughts, don’t.

Why comment on Waterson? Why, because it is pity among so much transient newspaper dross that the exceptional is not singled out. So, I have singled it out.

Mind you, if I read in future that Waterson thinks Trump is a Putin puppet, or that Zelensky is a saint, or anything of that sort, I reserve the right to retract my opinion.

Talking about Zelensky, his strategy in the Oval Office, and immediately after when in the UK, was bizarre to say the least. He appears to have reversed course in the face of Trump’s arms suspension. Still, best to wait and see, his motivation and mental state are in question. Does he want peace? David Sach’s take here is worth a look.