Guest Post: Muddy – Who Wrote That? Round 2


Nothing except my faith in humanity has changed since the first round.

To participate, nominate a Cat or Kitteh as the author of a specific quote. i.e. ‘48, Muddy.’ You can include the number and the quote itself if you wish, or just the number.

All quotes have been sourced from an Open Thread.

After a certain time period, I will provide hints. Once a hint has been published, the value of a correct answer declines by 50%. The exception is the first hint for this round which was provided at the tail end of the last round.

It is a case of ‘first in, best dressed’ if two commenters provide the same correct answer.

If you recognize your own wit or wisdom, please do not reveal it.

The numbers have been continued from the previous round.

No spitting of betelnut on the floor, walls, or mirror ball, will be tolerated.

Youse Complete Catwits:

21. There is no record of what happened to the goatherd.

22. If I want an opinion (political or otherwise) from someone whose job it is to chase a ball, I’ll ask the dog.

23. Every government department and government program has a single inviolable objective that they faithfully follow year after year without fail — to make the government bigger.

24. …the St Kilda Rd Hair Wax Famine of 2003.

25. Eddynedwooded Woodnedwardwoordwoodward cast a wide net to help complete strangers, little people…

26. Some Marxist splinter group is missing a member.

27. I guess someone made her eat 10 small children a day all her life.

28. What if you both run out of bullets and you were lucky enough to have brought a knife with you?

29. I will make the Malayan Highlands fashionable again.

30. Just another reason to ensure everybody knows I’m not a feminist.

31. Let’s have no more talk of inserting tropical fruit in other people’s bottoms.

32. Who hasn’t taken a leak in a wardrobe?

33. At least the Soviet Union was honest about what the GULAG was for – to work you to death. They didn’t sneak up to it by yearly increments.

34. Our (soon to be immediate) future in Gumba-Wumba Veneztraliastan.

35. … that would require politicians with a brain and a spine, ours only have bowels and reproductive organs.

36. Bonus points if you do it wearing only your jocks, ray bans and a pair of wellingtons.

37. Canberra correspondents are one step below people giving $5 handjobs at the Hay truckstop.

38. Gulags are back, baby, this time for white men.

39. No, but she does get a bikini wax between her shoulder blades.

40. That’s like getting smacked in the nuts with an 8kg sledgehammer instead of a 12kg one.


91 responses to “Guest Post: Muddy – Who Wrote That? Round 2”

  1. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Aaaand we’re off!
    Muddy gets in first to start padding the numbers.

  2. Ed Case Avatar
    Ed Case

    41. Muddy is a CockSmoker

  3. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    ok, Muddy, my 2c worth.

    30. Calli

    37. KD (on the strength on the Hay Truck Stop reference).

  4. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    22 is KD. Or someone just like him reflecting on certain cricketers pushing their unwanted political opinions on the rest of us.

  5. calli Avatar
    calli

    28 BeauGan

  6. calli Avatar
    calli

    32 HB Bear

  7. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    31 Sounds like Sancho.

  8. calli Avatar
    calli

    30 Cassie

  9. calli Avatar
    calli

    37 Knuckles

  10. calli Avatar
    calli

    Whoops. Sorry. 37 is taken.

  11. Tom Avatar
    Tom

    37 is definitely not Knuckle Dragger.

    It is our beloved Humphrey, a.k.a. HBBear:

    37. Canberra correspondents are one step below people giving $5 handjobs at the Hay truckstop.

  12. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Look at the energy of those fillies out of the gate! Talk about multi-tasking!

    BBS tries to nose ahead, but the pack closes up.
    Megan lunges with no luck at first (calli politely restrains herself – what discipline!), but bides her time and scores an advantage with her second attempt.

    31 Has been resolved – Sancho Panzer. One point to Megan.

    calli sees the bear in the room (or on the racetrack) and pulls even with Megan, but gets no further.
    32 Has been resolved – HB Bear. One point for calli.

    Our Wise Tom studies the field and makes his run.

    37 has been resolved – HB Bear. One point for Tom.

  13. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    The clue at the end of the last round – applicable to this round – was that both calli and ZK2A have comments in the list.

    HB Bear has reached the end of his 15 minute period of fame for this round.

  14. calli Avatar
    calli

    39 sounds very cohenite

  15. Christine Avatar
    Christine

    29 Lizzie

  16. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    I’m going to have another swing at 22 and go for calli.

    Unless I’m reading muddy clues where there are none.

  17. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Turning into the back straight in a rapidly thinning field, calli makes a dash for cohenite but comes up short, Christine deftly bumps No. 29 to the side and out of contention, and Megan recalls the whispered advice of a well-placed but oddly-smelling stable cleaner to take the overall lead.

    Nos. 29 – Lizzie, and 22. calli have been resolved.

    Personal tallies thus far:
    Megan – 2
    calli & Tom – 1

    ‘Horses’ still taking bets:
    21, 23-28, 30, 33-36, 38-40.

  18. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    The race will run until either the horses or the caller is knackered. I’ll be unavailable from early tomorrow (Tuesday morning) until mid to late afternoon, and will wrap things up about evening-ish (Tues).

    Full points will remain available until about 9:30 p.m. tonight (Monday), when I will reveal hints and the point value decreases by 50%.

    For anyone reading who rarely comments, feel free to take a guess.

  19. Beertruk Avatar
    Beertruk

    28. Zulu

  20. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Beertruk – Good attempt, but no. The true author has a strong ‘connection’ with your nominee, however.

  21. Carpe Jugulum Avatar
    Carpe Jugulum

    I read through them, sorry i laughed so much i wasn’t sure if i would fart, shit or faint.

    Well Done

  22. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Surely you could have done all three simultaneously, Carpe?
    Sh-art-aint?

  23. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Despite an enthusiastic start by the gals, it seems there are few cats identifying as horses (or willing to acknowledge so in public).

    As promised, the hints:
    Johanna, GreyRanga, Luzu, Lotocoti, Crossie, Bruce of Newcastle, and Frank, are seven of the authors remaining to be unmasked.

    Points from this moment onwards are worth only 1/2.
    The competition will cease at approximately 1930hrs tomorrow (Tuesday) night.

  24. Carpe Jugulum Avatar
    Carpe Jugulum

    Muddy says:
    June 12, 2023 at 9:01 pm

    Surely you could have done all three simultaneously, Carpe?
    Sh-art-aint?

    I will think of a word for the Catictionary

  25. Pattmclit Avatar
    Pattmclit

    40. Bruce of Newcastle???
    Half is ok.

  26. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Oh, Pattmclit makes a late dash for the open rail but stumbles on a rough blade o’ grass so close to fresh air! (Almost but-not-quite as close as numerically possible, in fact).

  27. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    The Catictionary has been laid to rest, Carpe. Novel ain’t as novel as novel used to be. Or sumfink. Words. Pfffft! Who needs ’em?

  28. Colonel Crispin Berka Avatar
    Colonel Crispin Berka

    34. Rabz.
    It seems both Rabzian and Dotty, but I’m leaning towards Rabz.

  29. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    In the late night lucky guess department:

    40. Luzu
    34. Rabbi
    23. johanna

  30. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    Bloody autocorrelation…Rabbi Razy for# 34

    See what ^^^^^^^^^^ I mean?

  31. Colonel Crispin Berka Avatar
    Colonel Crispin Berka

    Either:
    * Rabz will be offended at having been confused with Razey, or
    * Razey will be delighted at being confused with Rabz, or
    * we’re both mistaken.

  32. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Megan & the Colonel: I’m dashing out to work, but will get back to you mid(ish) afternoon. Thanks for participating.

  33. Beertruk Avatar
    Beertruk

    Muddy:
    June 12, 2023 at 6:55 pm

    Curses…

  34. Beertruk Avatar
    Beertruk

    21. Bruce of Newcastle
    28. Frank
    34. Zulu

  35. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Beery
    Re. 28. Nope. Think of your original guess… Who has a man-crush on that person?

  36. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    Curses…Never text at close to midnight!

    RABZ! But I’m happy to take Razy as well since I might have I’ve offended both of you.

  37. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    #38 BoN

  38. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    #28 Sal

  39. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    #21 Johanna

    Working from your hints, Muddy, that’s the full gamut of my deducting.

    Oh, maybe Frank is # 28

  40. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    #35 Johanna

    (I think I’ve run out of ammunition in this scattergun attempt.)

  41. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    25 could be my lovely mate Matrix T.
    Except there is one capital letter too many in that we’ll directed rant.

  42. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    Well…you moronic piece of grammatical non intelligence.

  43. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    Maybe #25 is BJ

  44. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    Based on that clue to Beery, 28 must be cohenite.

    27 could well be said man crush – JC

  45. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    We’re back folks!
    Our apologies for the long delay, but Racing for Gaia mandates that all horses, jockeys, and earthworms be carbon-tested at every hundred metre mark, and fresh emission-limiters attached with rusty nails by participants in the Celebrity Prats reality TV program.

  46. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    For those who weren’t holding up the outside bar and privy to the action, let’s review the middle stages of the race…

    Colonel Berka, leaning at exactly the right moment on an uncertain Rabz, showed his pedigree and joined the main pack with one half of a point, just pipping Megan who shared the same lean but was not quick enough. Sadly, despite a gallant effort, Megan is unable to extend her lead.

    No. 34 – Rabz, has been resolved.

    Beertruk, it must said, has showed a lot of courage, but has not yet been able to convert that into a break. What a shame for Beery whose appearance has been a crowd favourite.

    Having bided (Is that a word, Muddy?) her time, Bar Beach Swimmer goes for broke and scores a half a body lead with the aid of a strong Bruce, but can make it no further.

    No. 38 – Bruce of Newcastle, has been resolved.

    Megan – such a stayer! – sees the finishing line at the end of the home straight, but remains with a tight pack on her flanks. She was SO CLOSE to adding another half a length!

    With most of these fine equines now heading down the straight towards the hope of a HUGE payday, the front runners are currently:

    Megan – 2
    calli – 1
    Tom – 1
    Colonel Crispin Berka – 0.5
    Bar Beach Swimmer – 0.5

  47. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    The following four-legs are still running wild:
    21, 23-28, 30, 33, 35, 36, 39, 40.

  48. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    A bit cryptic?

    With about five hours remaining, let’s examine this in a structured manner, and try not to be cross with ourselves.

  49. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Macadamias are my favourite, but cracking them open often hurts my hand.

  50. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Morse code and hair products are related.

  51. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Who copes better with splinters – Jill or Joe?

  52. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Mother is a big word, isn’t it?

  53. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    Ok Mud, taking your lead on the hints, ML is #25

  54. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    What about #27 being Zulu? Does that work?

  55. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    With the finishing line just ahead, Bar Beach Swimmer takes a Mother Lode of a gamble and scores another half point to run even with calli and Tom. The spirited filly dips out on the chance to pressure the front runner though.

    No. 25 – Mother Lode, has been resolved.

  56. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Red and grey a satisfied consumer.

  57. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    39 = Luzu

    Is it a sad indictment on my life that I have spent so much time on this already? That I am fixated on problem solving and puzzling puzzles? Or is it that my competitive streak is wider than I am willing to admit?
    But, I am in parts of NSW formerly unknown to me, having a well earned break so time has little meaning.

  58. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    That’s a snappy GULAG you have there, officer!

  59. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    24 is the Dot formerly known as .

  60. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Spare a thought for me, Megan. I’ve contributed probably three quarters of the comments on my own post!

    Great effort, but 39 is not Luzu. You did guess one number correctly though.

  61. Colonel Crispin Berka Avatar
    Colonel Crispin Berka

    If I’ve got the hint right…
    26 is Megan.

  62. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Aaannnd with no thought of mercy, Megan plunges free of her pursuers!

    No. 24 – Dot, is resolved.

  63. Colonel Crispin Berka Avatar
    Colonel Crispin Berka

    BACKSPACE, CANCEL.
    I meant…
    26 is Bar Beach Swimmer.

  64. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Only He decides where bullets land.

  65. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Colonel Berka may be great at strategy, but he didn’t do well with phonics in school.
    How’s your rowing manner, Colonel?

  66. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    27. Grey Ranga
    33. Is it the Berserker Colonel Crispin in the library with a revolver?

    I may be some time. Dinner prep calls along with a glass of Shiraz.

  67. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    APOLOGIES.
    Our dodgy statistician, who struggled with vege maths in school, has been leaving Christine off the scoreboard when the very same should be credited with a full point for correctly guessing No. 29 – Lizzie.

    Sorry, Christine. I’ve been too focused on pretending to be witty.

  68. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    How dominant is Megan?
    Nos. 27 (Grey Ranga) & 33 (Colonel Crispin Berka) have been resolved.

    Enjoy the sh’raz, Megan. You deserve it for carrying the guest post!

  69. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Let’s check the leaderboard (and include Christine this time, Mr. Dodgy):

    Megan – 3.5
    Christine – 1
    calli – 1
    Tom – 1
    Bar Beach Swimmer – 1
    Colonel Crispin Berka – 0.5

    *Please let me know if I’ve forgotten anyone else!

  70. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    To be quite straight forward these two add up to nine.

  71. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Three letters for one of the faithful.

  72. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Is ZK2A the greatest of all time?

  73. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    Dinner cooking. I’ll try and sprint for the finish line.

    36 is perfectly Frank.

  74. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    You, you… feminist!

  75. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    I’d be writing to myself (again) if it wasn’t for you, Megan.

    No. 36 – Frank, has been resolved.

    (I’m run out of puff for the race-calling thing. They have four legs. That’s all I really know).

  76. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    I’ve not I’m.
    Pffft.

  77. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Karate Kid move, lotocoti.

  78. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Is it just me, or is this post dragging like a 20kg weight?

  79. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Would our political class ever bear one of these?

  80. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Stop me if you’ve heard this one: There were three brothers, one of whose name was Johanna…

  81. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Success, Tom!

    That was the last clue for this round, folks.
    I’ll be back in approximately one hour to wrap things up (earlier than previously notified, I know).

  82. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    Taking another hint; I think Megan is #30

  83. Christine Avatar
    Christine

    thank you

  84. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    C’mon you lot…I’ve contributed more comments today than for the rest of the year. But…reasons*.

    23 might be the mysteriously pantless HB Bear.
    40 has to be KD

    * Boring ones involving mucho house damage in three separate episodes involving large volumes of H2O. I need this win to prevent further descent into insurance company insanity. Although I’m hoping it doesn’t involve arseless diamante chaps left behind after Q&A collapsed.

  85. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    BBS: No, sorry, not Megan.
    Luzu – Hence my (admittedly weak) ‘You, you’ hint.

    Alrighty folks, I’m going to wrap this up.

    Following are the quotes and their authors:

    21. There is no record of what happened to the goatherd – Zulu Kilo Two Alpha, 17 May, 9:44 p.m.

    22. If I want an opinion (political or otherwise) from someone whose job it is to chase a ball, I’ll ask the dog – calli, 18 May, 8:55 a.m.

    23. Every government department and government program has a single inviolable objective that they faithfully follow year after year without fail — to make the government bigger – Tom, 18 May, 11:05 a.m.

    24. …the St Kilda Rd Hair Wax Famine of 2003 – Dot, 18 May, 8:39 p.m.

    25. Eddynedwooded Woodnedwardwoordwoodward cast a wide net to help complete strangers, little people… – Mother Lode, 18 May, 8:41 p.m.

    26. Some Marxist splinter group is missing a member – johanna, 18 May, 5:34 p.m.

    27. I guess someone made her eat 10 small children a day all her life – GreyRanga, 19 May, 9:42p.m.

    28. What if you both run out of bullets and you were lucky enough to have brought a knife with you? – J.C., 20 May, 5:52 p.m.

    29. I will make the Malayan Highlands fashionable again – Lizzie, 23 May, 5:07 p.m.

    30. Just another reason to ensure everybody knows I’m not a feminist – Luzu, 23 May, 4:44 p.m.

    31. Let’s have no more talk of inserting tropical fruit in other people’s bottoms – Sancho Panzer, 23 May, 9:55 p.m.

    32. Who hasn’t taken a leak in a wardrobe? – HB Bear, 25 May, 5:12 p.m.

    33. At least the Soviet Union was honest about what the GULAG was for – to work you to death. They didn’t sneak up to it by yearly increments – Colonel Crispin Berka, 2 June, 10:44 a.m.

    34. Our (soon to be immediate) future in Gumba-Wumba Veneztraliastan – Rabz, 25 May, 7:37 p.m.

    35. … that would require politicians with a brain and a spine, ours only have bowels and reproductive organs – Crossie, 27 May, 10:32 a.m.

    36. Bonus points if you do it wearing only your jocks, ray bans and a pair of wellingtons – Frank, 27 May, 7:06 p.m.

    37. Canberra correspondents are one step below people giving $5 handjobs at the Hay truckstop. The entire place should be nuked and whatever’s left bulldozed into Lake Burley Griffin – HB Bear, 28 May, 10.21 a.m.

    38. Gulags are back, baby, this time for white men – Bruce of Newcastle, 28 May, 10:31 a.m.

    39. No, but she does get a bikini wax between her shoulder blades – lotocoti, 28 May, 10:43 a.m.

    40. That’s like getting smacked in the nuts with an 8kg sledgehammer instead of a 12kg one – Knuckle Dragger, 28 May, 11:12 a.m.

  86. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    Thanks, again, Muddy; it’s a great addition to the blog.

  87. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Megan: That’s a no for Bear, but Yes for KD. I’m surprised no-one else guessed Knuckles for that one!

    No. 40 – Knuckle Dragger, has been resolved.

    Congratulations Megan, you are the proud winner of … ummm, yeah, well. (I think Carpe is utilising the chaps as a uniquely Australian cultural artefact when in Japan).

    Megan – 4.5
    Christine – 1
    calli – 1
    Tom – 1
    Bar Beach Swimmer – 1
    Colonel Crispin Berka – 0.5

  88. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    Thanks Muddy. And all you contributors and runners up. You’ve actually provided an entertaining distraction from endless phone calls, long winded babbling on hold including enduring the drone of my insurance company’s domestic violence policy 42 times, form filling out and ongoing negotiation with structural engineers, construction companies, removalists, storage companies and mould remediation specialists.

    But today? Today brought a few giggles to my day. Thanks again.

  89. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Thank you to everyone for participating, but the quantity of participation has been less than hoped for. My plan was to use light-hearted fun to draw attention to the power of our language, and how we as conservatives do not use the gift of language to our advantage. It was worth a shot, but I’m not inclined to put in the effort again in the future.

    We interrupt this documentary to return to our long-running drama Pantless in Parliament.

  90. Mother Lode Avatar
    Mother Lode

    Thanks, Muddy.

    Even if you cannot guess authors it is a hilarious read.

  91. mem Avatar
    mem

    I was sitting in the outer barracking, so definitely one of the stakeholders. Initially I thought we’d have to vote for the favorite so dutifully created my own criteria such as: creativity, aptness, entertainment, sheer buggery (aus flavor), quotability etc. My winning vote went to: 37. Canberra correspondents are one step below people giving $5 handjobs at the Hay truckstop. Followed by 22. If I want an opinion (political or otherwise) from someone whose job it is to chase a ball, I’ll ask the dog.
    Alas. I’d miss-stepped and my criteria blew out of the stadium.
    Well done Muddy and all contributors. It was well worth your effort. Much handclapping from the outer.

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