New science has prompted a recalibration of the Rulz …
Travel restrictions will be tweaked from 5km to 6.318km.
The new allowable distance is more finely tuned and accurate to a metre (must be measured from your mailbox)
Large construction sites must now reduce staff to 24.8%, revised down from 25%
You’re not allowed visitors to your home — except your intimate partner.
If you live alone, you can now form a bubble with 1.13 persons.
Essential retail can open as long as there are no more than 1.31 persons per 5.24 square metres.
Other/general retail can only open only for contactless click and collect.
The curfew in place will be adjusted and operate from 9:21:38s pm to 5:05:11s am each day. Daylight savings will be abandoned this year to avoid further confusion.
During the lockdown period, weddings are not allowed unless for end of life or deportation reasons.
Attendees are limited to between 5.00 and 5.99 people, including the 2 people being married, the celebrant, 2 witnesses and the (potential) foetus.
Funerals are allowed with no more than 10 people, plus those necessary to conduct the funeral.
The difference between a Marriage and a Funeral is the date on the death certificate
… and the AFL can do whatever it damned well wants because…
-Signed Dept of Highly Heuristic Stuff (DHHS) — Keeping you safer … we are all scientists now