2,505 thoughts on “Open Thread – Tues 4 Oct 2022”

  1. Three Aussie guys all go to a building site in London answering to an advert for brickies.

    The foreman asks them if they each can each build a small wall out of a pile of bricks outside the foreman’s office. They oblige, the foreman checks on them and confirms that the work was a high enough standard, so he decides to hire all three.

    He figures he better do a health and safety check but since he is desperate for workers, he decides to make it pretty simple and just asks each of them a simple question: “What would you do if you were up a scaffolding and dropped a brick?”

    The first Aussie says “Shout *FALLING BRICK!* to warn anyone working below me”. The foreman replies “That’s fine, you’re hired, go up that scaffolding and get to work”.

    The second Aussie replies “I would shout *FALLING BRICK, WATCH OUT BELOW!* to warn those below me”. The foreman replies “Good good, you’re also hired, go up that scaffolding and get on with the job”.

    The third Aussie however has a pretty bad stutter and replies “I w-w-w-w-would also shout *F-F-F-F-F-Falling B-B-B-B-Brick!* as a w-w-w-warning to others”. Now the foreman realises this could be a bit of an issue but since he is desperate for workers just tells the lad to be careful and not drop anything.

    Within an hour the first Aussie drops a brick and shouts down *FALLING BRICK!* and everyone below got out of the way without a problem.

    Later on the second guy also drops a brick and shouts down *FALLING BRICK, WATCH OUT BELOW!* and once again everyone below moved out of the way without any issues.

    Eventually the third guy also drops a brick and begins to shout “F-F-F-F-F-F…”

    … but as he is still shouting, the brick falls and hits an Englishman right in the head, killing him outright…

    “…ucking B-B-B-beauty!!!!”

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  2. Cassie, it’s pretty much the one thing I’ve been trying to get through to people from the start. Putin IS the moderate everyone is dreaming of. The idea it’s going to be rainbows and fairy floss is he was killed or otherwise disappeared is completely unrealistic.

    I keep getting the same sort of reactions though, get called a vatnik, Russia supporter etc. etc. Very few people admit there might be a legitimate concern for the Russians, or that they might actually have decided diplomacy was achieving nothing and done something about it.

    It’s the difference between how people want the world to be, and the reality of what the world is.

    Putin may have been a moderate before he started the war, but he’s not one now. What more could a replacement do, apart from drop a nuke? He’s already started a mobilisation and devoted 20% of Russia’s GDP to it, it’s not as if there is a cigarette paper’s difference between him and some random Mad Pyotr.

    Any thought of Putin having a legitimate beef with Europe about their moves to discourage him from invading countries were snuffed out when he started the invasion. He kind of proved them right, didn’t he? Turns out he actually was a threat that they should have made moves to counter.

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  3. Bernard Cornwell, a descendent of the eleventh century Uhtred the Bold of Bamburgh Castle, drew upon this Uhtred’s life to create the earlier ninth century Uhtred of Bebbenburg in his saga The Last Kingdom, recently turned into a long-running set of TV series about the creation of Engalande prior to Athelstan’s final victory (a film is now being made to place Cornwell’s Uhtred in this). The tale of the seven severed heads is repeated in this series, drawing on Uhtred the Bold’s life, being thus placed anachronistically in Cornwell’s books as well as by the TV series. From Calli’s link above, a similar tale has also been part of C16th and C17th historic Scottish clan warfare. Seven is a sacral number, which probably explains the common numeric identification.

    The taking of heads was prominent in earlier tribal cultures in Britain. In Lancaster a Roman tombstone fairly recently found covering a drain depicts a second century Centurian in full panoply on horseback going native, not only on this ‘riter’ style of tombstone crushing underfoot a Brythonic barbarian but also having gathered five barbarian heads strung together over the back of his horse. Cutting off heads and putting them on a pole was part of legal punishment until at least the early seventeenth century. Elizabeth the First did a lot of it to her favorites as well as foes. The wonderful Irish war song ‘Follow me up to Carlow’ speaks of cutting off an opponents Tudor head and ‘sending it back to Queen Lisa and her ladies’.

    Islamic cultures, witness the lamentable Islamic State, also did some head chopping in our times. Indeed, women and their children paraded the desire to do some more on placards not long ago in Sydney’s streets. Nor will I ever forget seeing videos of men being decapitated by a river in the contested Middle East during those dreadful times and the men’s bodies falling into the water as their heads were held aloft. It was always a murderous custom.

    As was hanging. In the past tense, Odin ‘hung’ on the World Tree and it continued on from there. Strangling was part of the ‘triple death’ of the Bronze Age, as seen in bog bodies and recounted in tales of Merlin (Odin). Hanging has been the mode of capital punishment in British law especially since head-taking lost favour. My border-riever grandfather never referred to being ‘hanged, drawn and quartered’, btw. It was always, in his words that flowed so easily off the tongue, ‘thee’ll be hung, drawn and quartered’ whenever a sheep-stealing misdemeanor, or any misdemeanor of mine, was the reference. Common enough parlance to have the sting of ancient remembrance about it in his day.

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  4. I see from one of BB’s comments on a previous page that Brittney (Australian of the Year -pending) was approached by Pirate Pete about a book deal before she even spoke to the police.

    No doubt Pete will get his crack team of researchers on the case and will provide his own inimitable embellishments.

    And no doubt Brittney’s indignation will soar up to eleventy when she reads the book and discovers to her horror new details of the event that she had not known.

    Imagine her outrage (outrageously outrageous outrage) when she learns that Lehrmann also ushered in the entire Cabinet to have their way with her; how they urinated and defecated on her inert body, how they dragged her into the basement of Parliament House where they took her newborn baby (innocent issue of the night’s savagery), and Tony Abbott and John Howard ritually killed it. They all drank the blood, even forcing Brittany to drink as well.

    Brittney will be the loveable hero, possessed of a free and unbroken spirit, too pure for the world she was to enter into. She looked at the stunted and malformed ogres of the Liberal Party, but all she saw was people needing help.

    The Libs will be a melding of 19th and 20th century British toffs with things like “tally-ho” and “I say” tripping constantly from their tongues, a haughty cabal concealing their grasping, calculating, and corrupted natures beneath layers of scented linen, silk, and brocade, with flashing medals and sparkling jewellery – all trophies of past successful campaigns won with other people’s blood.

    Then we will have the likes of Bruce, one of an army of foul emissaries, intermediaries that transmit the will of the Liberal cabal upon the real world. Stripped of humanity, motivated solely by greed and malice, and a wish to one day be received into the cabal, there will be no deed so low he will not stoop to it, and when the command is given to get rid of ‘the virginal upstart’, he will know exactly what to do.

    This will be a boon for Pirate Pete. To date he market niche has been kids who need to buy a present for their Dads but have no idea what they want but don’t yet have – in the ‘bargain bin’ price range.

    This will open the door to ‘My daughter is a middle-class undergraduate feminist gender studies uni student’ market.

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