Guest Post: Muddy – Who Wrote That?


The premise of this post is simple: Match a numbered comment below with the Cat you consider made that comment.

i.e. 21. I am superior to youse all! Muddy.

Or just: 21. Muddy.

I will reveal the authors, along with the exact date and time the comment was made.

The numbers are not rankings, but for ease of reference.

All comments are direct quotes, sans the usual markings.

If you recognise your comment, please refrain from ‘outing’ yourself.

While the primary purpose is to entertain, and acknowledge the wisdom and humour many Cats bless us with, perhaps we can also reflect on the power of removing a comment from its context, whereby a new meaning can be implied?

1. I am so god like I sometimes make myself incontinent.

2. Crotchless, a word of advice: ease up on the meth; you’ve been posting like a headless chicken with .410 pellets up its arse.

3. You are worse than a fart in a lift going to the 50th floor.

4. … and I know couples who have bonded over farts.

5. Go and bang your head on the floor, until you are forgiven.

6. I self-identify as an octopus and I am offended by your language.

7. If those palaeolithic Venus figurines had had mouths and a finger to stick into their throat they would be dead ringers.

8. The Greens: standing out and proud in a field of glistening turds.

9. That should cover it – with a pillow. Until it stops breathing.

10. The hyphenated barrel stuffers lose to the dental denialists by one point.

11. Would it be immoral to have a shag with an alien?

12. Your head. Dead bears bum. Some assembly required.

13. If any of my comments contained facts, I apologise.

14. I really regret not signing up to their disloyalty program. I would be able to get a better quality set of tooth pliers and a more reliable battery to have wired to my testicles.

15. One of my parentheses just got shot off.

16. The meja is evil. Filled with poisonous imbeciles with zero accomplishments.

17. [R]ainbow barbed-wire.

18. Morrison can go shove his cock in a pickle slicer for his “you don’t need to take a vaccine” bullshit.

19. Yes, my devoted worshipper?

20. … the Liberal Party is just a blocking force determined to stop any meaningful conservative voice into the political arena.


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Tintarella di Luna
Tintarella di Luna
May 17, 2023 12:31 pm

After spending sometime on the phone with the bank I needed this Muddy, how did you know? Anyway hanks for the laughs, No 2 sounds like cohenite.

Bruce of Newcastle
Bruce of Newcastle
May 17, 2023 12:43 pm

I’m embarrassed that none of them came from me, have to lift muh game.

Muddy
Muddy
May 17, 2023 2:11 pm

One point to Tinta for recognising ‘crotchless.’
Number 2 has been solved.

Yes Bruce, you may need to have your Ph levels checked.

calli
calli
May 17, 2023 2:24 pm

16. Rabz

calli
calli
May 17, 2023 2:30 pm

15. Knuckles

Muddy
Muddy
May 17, 2023 2:38 pm

One point for calli.
Number 15 has been solved.

calli
calli
May 17, 2023 3:08 pm

I’ll have another go at 16.

Tom

Muddy
Muddy
May 17, 2023 4:16 pm

Sixteen doesn’t seem to be your lucky number, calli.

Wally Dalí
Wally Dalí
May 17, 2023 4:24 pm

What the actual f#ck, Dover-
this stoush trolling got posted before my month-late Archibald whinge?
*sniffs in arty type

calli
calli
May 17, 2023 4:45 pm

All good, Muddy. I’m trying to remember the aliens thread. The buggers accused me of watching tentacle pron!

Your selection only proves what I’ve long known…the place is full of genuine comedians.

calli
calli
May 17, 2023 4:54 pm

Wally! You slacker! Hop to it. (I liked the Bassi, as for the “winner” I’ve seen better at the Houston quilt show).

Wally Dalí
Wally Dalí
May 17, 2023 4:59 pm

Alight, alright, I’ll grudgingly get into the spirit-
8 – Knuckles?

Muddy
Muddy
May 17, 2023 5:21 pm

No Knuckles for 8, Wally.

Keep on harassing Dover about your post. I can understand the frustration. It was this that prompted me to throw a quiet tantrum early last year & take a break (then life stretched the break). I look forward to reading it.

Muddy
Muddy
May 17, 2023 5:23 pm

All selected comments are from open Freds, by the way.

Bar Beach Swimmer
May 17, 2023 5:37 pm

Muddy, #4 is cohenite

Bar Beach Swimmer
May 17, 2023 5:38 pm

#11 Dr BG

(I was going to respond to that one, but ran out of time the day he made that comment).

Bar Beach Swimmer
May 17, 2023 5:49 pm

#2 also is cohenite – crotchless is the giveaway

Bar Beach Swimmer
May 17, 2023 5:50 pm

#8 mole?

Bar Beach Swimmer
May 17, 2023 5:52 pm

#18 – ST?

Wally Dalí
Wally Dalí
May 17, 2023 5:52 pm

I’ll defer to Dover’s judgement re Archibald post. I did kinda rush it, it typical late homework style- quick re=read looking for “Bassi” showed me I’d missed a few tricks myself, so I’ll do a v.2.0 tonight.
Calli, which one is yer Bassi?

Wally Dalí
Wally Dalí
May 17, 2023 6:01 pm

Calli, yes i’ve twigged at last. Bassi is the subject, Fenoglio the artist! My thoughts-
Will we look upon the podgy unshaven man-child of the 21st century West as a stylistic phenomenon of place and time, like the lean and brylcreemed beachgoing youth of the 50’s?
Not to snipe though, it’s a very good painting. Brushwork lively and deliberate, but not distracting- maybe a bit too fancy with the reverse-burn shadows in the lower left corner. (don’t park pointless distractions in the corners, Christopher Bassi, that’s Composition 101). The picture carries that interesting quality where the subject’s attention seems to roam around the room he looks upon, as the viewer roams around his face- David Fenoglio looks like an interesting bloke. Looking slightly down at the viewer is a power pose- have a shave and I might even respect him a bit.

Note, I’d had the artist and subject the wrong way round too, despite the relatively straight titling.
Like and subscribe for updates…
Well, it’s at the mercy of Dover, innit.

Rabz
May 17, 2023 7:11 pm

16 is Miltonf

Rabz
May 17, 2023 7:13 pm

12 is thefrollickingmole.

Rabz
May 17, 2023 7:14 pm

10 is Knuckledragger

132andBush
132andBush
May 17, 2023 7:34 pm

5 Zulu

calli
calli
May 17, 2023 7:41 pm

I reckon 13 is Sancho.

Muddy
Muddy
May 17, 2023 8:38 pm

Bar Beach Swimmer is now ahead, with 2 points.
Nos. 4 (Cohenite) and 11 (Br. BeauGan) are resolved.

Muddy
Muddy
May 17, 2023 8:41 pm

Rabz shoots to the co-lead with two!
Nos. 12 (the frollickingmole) and 16 (miltonf) are now resolved.

Muddy
Muddy
May 17, 2023 8:42 pm

No points for Dover with No.6.

Muddy
Muddy
May 17, 2023 8:44 pm

132 gets on the scoreboard!
No. 5 (ZK2A) is now resolved.

(Rabz misses the goal with No.10).

Muddy
Muddy
May 17, 2023 8:45 pm

Despite a strong effort all game, calli dips out with her No.13 attempt.

Muddy
Muddy
May 17, 2023 8:53 pm

Let’s have a look at the scoreboard:
Resolved: Nos. 2, 4, 5, 11, 12, 15, 16.
Remaining: Nos. 1, 3,6-10, 13, 14, 17-20.

Individual Scores:
Bar Beach Swimmer* & Rabz – 2.
Tinta, calli, & 132andbush – 1.

*BBS was also correct with No. 2 Cohenite, but Tinta claimed the early point.

Muddy
Muddy
May 17, 2023 8:57 pm

I’ll post the full list of identifications at about midday or early afternoon tomorrow, Thursday the 18th.

There’s still time to get in a few more bets.

Dragnet
Dragnet
May 17, 2023 9:24 pm

It’s been fun, Muddy,thank you!

Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
Zulu Kilo Two Alpha
May 17, 2023 9:32 pm

It’s been fun, Muddy,thank you!

Has been fun – good to see you back!

calli
calli
May 17, 2023 9:35 pm

Better than Q&A lotto.

No Lefties. And definitely no Snowcone.

132andBush
132andBush
May 17, 2023 9:43 pm

1 Salvatore

Colonel Crispin Berka
Colonel Crispin Berka
May 17, 2023 9:54 pm

The only one I’m sure about is mine, for which I assume I am ineligible to guess (insider trading etc).
My guesses are

1. MatrixTransform
2. Cohenite
3. JC
5. Knuckle Dragger
9. Rabz
10. OCO
11. Robert Sewell
15. Dot

Muddy
Muddy
May 17, 2023 9:58 pm

Bush dips out with a valiant attempt at No. 1.
(Though Sal is on the list).

Thanks for the compliments, folks. I’ve been a bit unsure how this has come across. I wanted to put forward something light-hearted, rather than my usual criticisms.

Muddy
Muddy
May 17, 2023 10:02 pm

Colonel Crispin Berka sneaks in when all is quiet, takes a spray, and lays a solid claim on one point!
No. 9 (Rabz) has been solved.

(Thanks for not giving away which comment is yours).

Tintarella di Luna
Tintarella di Luna
May 18, 2023 5:32 am

Muddy thank you light-hearted is what we need in these time of lumpen ignorance, arrogance and worst of all, so much PRIDE in both

Beertruk
Beertruk
May 18, 2023 5:44 am

18: Dot?

Beertruk
Beertruk
May 18, 2023 6:15 am

19: JC?

Beertruk
Beertruk
May 18, 2023 6:20 am

20: I’ll have 10 beertickets on Cassie for that one.

Luzu
Luzu
May 18, 2023 8:03 am

No 1 – JC?

Muddy
Muddy
May 18, 2023 8:13 am

Oh, dear. Beertruk does his drinking money.

Muddy
Muddy
May 18, 2023 8:18 am

Wait, there’s been a protest! The on-field referee has been overruled by the video ref, and one point awarded.

No. 18 has been resolved.

(The on-field ref takes a sneaky swig from his hip flask and adds another few to his overall post comment title).

Muddy
Muddy
May 18, 2023 8:21 am

Luzu: You’d think so, but no, sorry.

Muddy
Muddy
May 18, 2023 8:34 am

Let’s take a look at the scoreboard again.

Comments remaining to be solved: Nos. 1, 3,6-8, 10, 13, 14, 17, 19, 20.

To the sidelines for a comment now:
Muddy (says Muddy speaking to Muddy), last night there were two clues given: Sal (Understaffed, etc.) and Colonel Crispin were two of the remaining commenters. This morning, I can tell you that Farmer Gez, Mother Lode, and Sancho, are also remaining commenters.

The downside of my inside knowledge is that the value of a point has been reduced to 50%.

Muddy
Muddy
May 18, 2023 8:36 am

Tintarella di Luna says:
May 18, 2023 at 5:32 am

Thanks, Tinta. Yes, Homo Sapiens seems to be devolving with every blink. The only word I’ve been able to use as an adjective for the past few years is still: Surreal.

dopey
dopey
May 18, 2023 9:03 am

When’s the Pride Round/Indigenous Round ?

Muddy
Muddy
May 18, 2023 10:01 am

Not until after the Narcissists Anonymous Round, dopey.

Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare
Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare
May 18, 2023 10:03 am

Can’t remember who said them, but my faves are 9, 13, and 15.

Are we going to have a vote for podiums?
And will there be monthly heats and a yearly Collected Edition out sometime?
Comedy and Wit at The Cat. Unless, as is likely, a better title comes up.

Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare
Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare
May 18, 2023 10:07 am

My choices 9, 13 and 15. Oops. Is this a bit like a donkey vote?

Pogria
Pogria
May 18, 2023 10:08 am

I am hopeless at this sort of thing. I’ll just take a punt. All the awful ones left are JC, funny ones are Cronkite. 😀

Muddy
Muddy
May 18, 2023 10:19 am

Lizzie.
I intend to run another round in one or two month’s time and then decide if there is a demand for it. As to a favourite comment overall … I hadn’t considered that, but perhaps. Thanks for the suggested title; it’s not bad, actually. I’ll mull it over.

Pogria.
No comments are JC’s, and Cohenite has two in the list, one of which (No.2) has already been claimed.
Come on, make a commitment!

Pogria
Pogria
May 18, 2023 10:28 am

aah Muddy, stop bossing me around! 😉

Muddy
Muddy
May 18, 2023 10:30 am

With only several hours remaining, here are the remaining commenters, in no particular order:

Sal (Understaff martyr etc.), Sancho Panzer, MatrixTransform, , HB Bear, Farmer Gez, Colonel Crispin Berka, Mother Lode (x2), Boambee John, Cohenite, Robert Sewell, Dr. Faustus.

Comments remaining to be solved: Nos. 1, 3,6-8, 10, 13, 14, 17, 19, 20.

Half points are still on offer.

Muddy
Muddy
May 18, 2023 10:32 am

I’m practically GIVING the points away here, Pogria!

Bar Beach Swimmer
May 18, 2023 10:35 am

Muddy, just a stab, but I think #6 is ML.

calli
calli
May 18, 2023 10:36 am

19 Cohenite

Bar Beach Swimmer
May 18, 2023 10:41 am

ps, Muddy, I like the idea of a of monthly game.

Though this list, and it seems true of my previous “noticings” in the threads, that the cats are better at comedy and takedowns than are we, kittehs. (Although, at times Pogria, can be very witty.)

Bar Beach Swimmer
May 18, 2023 10:48 am

Muddy, if #6 is not ML, then I think its FG.

#19 cohenite?

Muddy
Muddy
May 18, 2023 10:53 am

BBS – No, but you could not have been closer!
Monthly depends upon my energy levels. I’m only just beginning to regain some dignity and self-esteem after a tough stretch. Re. Cats vs. Kittehs: The choices were just what I noticed at the time, mostly by accident. I started by wanting to concentrate on wit, but then had to ‘fill-in’ a few at the end just to get the post done. I think the blokes in general do tend to be more acerbic, but I’ll aim for more balance with the next one.

calli – No, sorry. Continue thinking of J.C. though. Who else does he like to ‘play’ with?

I’m off to run some errands now, but please continue, and I’ll wrap it up somewhere between noon and 2 p.m.

Bar Beach Swimmer
May 18, 2023 10:54 am

okay, my last shots are:
MT # 17
Robert # 19
SP # 13

Bar Beach Swimmer
May 18, 2023 11:00 am

Muddy, no worries to me re cats/kittehs – it’s just that, on the whole, men seem wittier than women.

but thank you for the post.

Muddy
Muddy
May 18, 2023 11:00 am

Oooh, BBS cracks it for half a point! (And misses my strong hint about which comment might be Mother Lode’s).
No. 17 (MatrixTransform) has been solved.

Bar Beach Swimmer
May 18, 2023 11:09 am

right, I had another look – #7 is ML.

I feel like Ima punch drunk wannabe – or perhaps I’m Sylvester the cat (rather apt, there, as he is a cat) – who’s coming to a screaming halt, having run outa all options and the dosh!

Pogria
Pogria
May 18, 2023 11:37 am

Muddysays:
May 18, 2023 at 10:32 am
I’m practically GIVING the points away here, Pogria!

Geez, Muddy, anybody would think this was YOUR thread! 😀

Muddy
Muddy
May 18, 2023 12:33 pm

This competition will close at 1:30 p.m.

Rabz
May 18, 2023 12:46 pm

10 is Sancho P

Rabz
May 18, 2023 12:48 pm

As for mine, it’s time to acknowledge it’s a paraphrasing of an Iowahawk quote: “Journalism is about covering important stories. With a pillow, until they stop moving.”

Muddy
Muddy
May 18, 2023 1:35 pm

Half a point for BBS: No.7 Mother Lode.
Rabz makes an unsuccessful attempt at No. 10.

Aaaaand …. Paaarrrrp! There’s the siren. Game over.

Muddy
Muddy
May 18, 2023 1:39 pm

Here’s the playing roster:

1. I am so god like I sometimes make myself incontinent – Sancho Panzer, 25 Apr, 7:58 pm.

2. Crotchless, a word of advice: ease up on the meth; you’ve been posting like a headless chicken with .410 pellets up its arse – Cohenite, 25 Apr, 5:44pm.

3. You are worse than a fart in a lift going to the 50th floor – Boambee John, 27 Apr, 12:28 p.m.

4. … and I know couples who have bonded over farts – Cohenite, 27 Apr, 9:46 p.m.

5. Go and bang your head on the floor, until you are forgiven – Zulu Kilo Two Alpha, 27 Apr, 10:02 p.m.

6. I self-identify as an octopus and I am offended by your language – Colonel Crispin Berka, 27 Apr, 11:39 p.m.

7. If those palaeolithic Venus figurines had had mouths and a finger to stick into their throat they would be dead ringers – Mother Lode, 28 Apr, 8:28 a.m.

8. The Greens: standing out and proud in a field of glistening turds – Dr. Faustus, 28 Apr, 8:35 a.m.

9. That should cover it – with a pillow. Until it stops breathing – Rabz, 30 Apr, 6:05 p.m.

10. The hyphenated barrel stuffers lose to the dental denialists by one point – Farmer Gez, 30 Apr, 7:19 p.m.

11. Would it be immoral to have a shag with an alien? – Dr.BeauGan, 2, May, 6:43 p.m.

12. Your head. Dead bears bum. Some assembly required – thefrollickingmole, 4 May, 9:51 p.m.

13. If any of my comments contained facts, I apologise – HB Bear, 8 May, 12:48 a.m.

14. I really regret not signing up to their disloyalty program. I would be able to get a better quality set of tooth pliers and a more reliable battery to have wired to my testicles – Mother Lode, 10 May, 8:03 p.m.

15. One of my parentheses just got shot off – Knuckle Dragger, 15 May, 6:17 p.m.

16. The meja is evil. Filled with poisonous imbeciles with zero accomplishments – miltonf, 30 Dec, 2022, 7:00 p.m.

17. [R]ainbow barbed-wire – MatrixTransform, 30 Dec, 2022, 7:59 p.m.

18. Morrison can go shove his cock in a pickle slicer for his “you don’t need to take a vaccine” bullshit – Dot, 28 Feb, 2022, 9:24 p.m.

19. Yes, my devoted worshipper? – Salvatore, Understaffed & Overworked Martyr to Govt Covid Stupidity, 28 Feb, 2022, 9:31 p.m.

20. … the Liberal Party is just a blocking force determined to stop any meaningful conservative voice into the political arena – Robert Sewell, 3 Feb, 7:41 p.m.

Pogria
Pogria
May 18, 2023 1:50 pm

That was fun to watch and read Muddy, thanks.

Muddy
Muddy
May 18, 2023 1:51 pm

The final individual scores are (Just a sec while I grab my abacus):

Bar Beach Swimmer – 3
Rabz – 2
Tinta – 1
calli – 1
Colonel Crispin Berka – 1
132andBush – 1
Beertruk – 1

Alrighty folks, thanks for turning up, please take your rubbish with you, and file out of the stadium in an orderly manner (white supremacists last please).

Muddy
Muddy
May 18, 2023 1:53 pm

Hint for the next round (in 4-6 weeks): Zulu (yesterday) and calli (today) are already on the board. Comments will come from the open freds only (that narrows it down, doesn’t it?).

Ed Case
Ed Case
May 18, 2023 5:15 pm

Here’s my guess:
Muddy is a cocksmoker.

How’d I go, Mud?

MatrixTransform
May 18, 2023 6:33 pm

*chuckles
nice work muds

Louis Litt
Louis Litt
May 21, 2023 8:40 pm

Should have Cohenites top 10 – difference is being told you have 4 th stage testicular cancer rather than 3 rd stage

Robert Sewell
May 23, 2023 12:24 pm

#20 is me! me! me! me!
All glory be to me for my political acumen!

Robert Sewell
May 23, 2023 12:29 pm

What do you mean the game is over?

  1. Miltonf May 25, 2024 2:00 pm It’s just shocking when you read that there are still people imprisoned without trial…

  2. https://www.michaelsmithnews.com/2024/05/criminal-glorification.html A biopic on the life of George Floyd? “A man with flaws?: Seriously?

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