New Catallaxy

Guest Post: Muddy – Who Wrote That?

The premise of this post is simple: Match a numbered comment below with the Cat you consider made that comment.

i.e. 21. I am superior to youse all! Muddy.

Or just: 21. Muddy.

I will reveal the authors, along with the exact date and time the comment was made.

The numbers are not rankings, but for ease of reference.

All comments are direct quotes, sans the usual markings.

If you recognise your comment, please refrain from ‘outing’ yourself.

While the primary purpose is to entertain, and acknowledge the wisdom and humour many Cats bless us with, perhaps we can also reflect on the power of removing a comment from its context, whereby a new meaning can be implied?

1. I am so god like I sometimes make myself incontinent.

2. Crotchless, a word of advice: ease up on the meth; you’ve been posting like a headless chicken with .410 pellets up its arse.

3. You are worse than a fart in a lift going to the 50th floor.

4. … and I know couples who have bonded over farts.

5. Go and bang your head on the floor, until you are forgiven.

6. I self-identify as an octopus and I am offended by your language.

7. If those palaeolithic Venus figurines had had mouths and a finger to stick into their throat they would be dead ringers.

8. The Greens: standing out and proud in a field of glistening turds.

9. That should cover it – with a pillow. Until it stops breathing.

10. The hyphenated barrel stuffers lose to the dental denialists by one point.

11. Would it be immoral to have a shag with an alien?

12. Your head. Dead bears bum. Some assembly required.

13. If any of my comments contained facts, I apologise.

14. I really regret not signing up to their disloyalty program. I would be able to get a better quality set of tooth pliers and a more reliable battery to have wired to my testicles.

15. One of my parentheses just got shot off.

16. The meja is evil. Filled with poisonous imbeciles with zero accomplishments.

17. [R]ainbow barbed-wire.

18. Morrison can go shove his cock in a pickle slicer for his “you don’t need to take a vaccine” bullshit.

19. Yes, my devoted worshipper?

20. … the Liberal Party is just a blocking force determined to stop any meaningful conservative voice into the political arena.

dover0beach

84 responses to “Guest Post: Muddy – Who Wrote That?”

  1. Tintarella di Luna Avatar
    Tintarella di Luna

    After spending sometime on the phone with the bank I needed this Muddy, how did you know? Anyway hanks for the laughs, No 2 sounds like cohenite.

    6
  2. Bruce of Newcastle Avatar
    Bruce of Newcastle

    I’m embarrassed that none of them came from me, have to lift muh game.

    9
  3. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    One point to Tinta for recognising ‘crotchless.’
    Number 2 has been solved.

    Yes Bruce, you may need to have your Ph levels checked.

    3
  4. calli Avatar
    calli

    16. Rabz

    2
  5. calli Avatar
    calli

    15. Knuckles

    1
  6. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    One point for calli.
    Number 15 has been solved.

  7. calli Avatar
    calli

    I’ll have another go at 16.

    Tom

    1
  8. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Sixteen doesn’t seem to be your lucky number, calli.

    1
  9. Wally Dalí Avatar
    Wally Dalí

    What the actual f#ck, Dover-
    this stoush trolling got posted before my month-late Archibald whinge?
    *sniffs in arty type

    4
  10. calli Avatar
    calli

    All good, Muddy. I’m trying to remember the aliens thread. The buggers accused me of watching tentacle pron!

    Your selection only proves what I’ve long known…the place is full of genuine comedians.

    6
  11. calli Avatar
    calli

    Wally! You slacker! Hop to it. (I liked the Bassi, as for the “winner” I’ve seen better at the Houston quilt show).

    2
  12. Wally Dalí Avatar
    Wally Dalí

    Alight, alright, I’ll grudgingly get into the spirit-
    8 – Knuckles?

    1
  13. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    No Knuckles for 8, Wally.

    Keep on harassing Dover about your post. I can understand the frustration. It was this that prompted me to throw a quiet tantrum early last year & take a break (then life stretched the break). I look forward to reading it.

    2
  14. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    All selected comments are from open Freds, by the way.

    2
  15. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    Muddy, #4 is cohenite

    1
  16. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    #11 Dr BG

    (I was going to respond to that one, but ran out of time the day he made that comment).

    1
  17. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    #2 also is cohenite – crotchless is the giveaway

    1
  18. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    #8 mole?

    1
  19. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    #18 – ST?

    1
  20. Wally Dalí Avatar
    Wally Dalí

    I’ll defer to Dover’s judgement re Archibald post. I did kinda rush it, it typical late homework style- quick re=read looking for “Bassi” showed me I’d missed a few tricks myself, so I’ll do a v.2.0 tonight.
    Calli, which one is yer Bassi?

    1
  21. Wally Dalí Avatar
    Wally Dalí

    Calli, yes i’ve twigged at last. Bassi is the subject, Fenoglio the artist! My thoughts-
    Will we look upon the podgy unshaven man-child of the 21st century West as a stylistic phenomenon of place and time, like the lean and brylcreemed beachgoing youth of the 50’s?
    Not to snipe though, it’s a very good painting. Brushwork lively and deliberate, but not distracting- maybe a bit too fancy with the reverse-burn shadows in the lower left corner. (don’t park pointless distractions in the corners, Christopher Bassi, that’s Composition 101). The picture carries that interesting quality where the subject’s attention seems to roam around the room he looks upon, as the viewer roams around his face- David Fenoglio looks like an interesting bloke. Looking slightly down at the viewer is a power pose- have a shave and I might even respect him a bit.
    Note, I’d had the artist and subject the wrong way round too, despite the relatively straight titling.
    Like and subscribe for updates…
    Well, it’s at the mercy of Dover, innit.

    3
  22. Rabz Avatar
    Rabz

    16 is Miltonf

    1
  23. dover0beach Avatar
    dover0beach

    Wally, I’m saving it for this weekend.

    1
  24. Rabz Avatar
    Rabz

    12 is thefrollickingmole.

    1
  25. dover0beach Avatar
    dover0beach

    6 is a Dr Faustus.

    1
  26. Rabz Avatar
    Rabz

    10 is Knuckledragger

    1
  27. 132andBush Avatar
    132andBush

    5 Zulu

    2
  28. calli Avatar
    calli

    I reckon 13 is Sancho.

    1
  29. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Bar Beach Swimmer is now ahead, with 2 points.
    Nos. 4 (Cohenite) and 11 (Br. BeauGan) are resolved.

  30. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Rabz shoots to the co-lead with two!
    Nos. 12 (the frollickingmole) and 16 (miltonf) are now resolved.

  31. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    No points for Dover with No.6.

  32. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    132 gets on the scoreboard!
    No. 5 (ZK2A) is now resolved.

    (Rabz misses the goal with No.10).

  33. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Despite a strong effort all game, calli dips out with her No.13 attempt.

    1
  34. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Let’s have a look at the scoreboard:
    Resolved: Nos. 2, 4, 5, 11, 12, 15, 16.
    Remaining: Nos. 1, 3,6-10, 13, 14, 17-20.

    Individual Scores:
    Bar Beach Swimmer* & Rabz – 2.
    Tinta, calli, & 132andbush – 1.

    *BBS was also correct with No. 2 Cohenite, but Tinta claimed the early point.

    2
  35. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    I’ll post the full list of identifications at about midday or early afternoon tomorrow, Thursday the 18th.

    There’s still time to get in a few more bets.

  36. Dragnet Avatar
    Dragnet

    It’s been fun, Muddy,thank you!

    3
  37. Zulu Kilo Two Alpha Avatar
    Zulu Kilo Two Alpha

    It’s been fun, Muddy,thank you!

    Has been fun – good to see you back!

    6
  38. calli Avatar
    calli

    Better than Q&A lotto.

    No Lefties. And definitely no Snowcone.

    4
  39. 132andBush Avatar
    132andBush

    1 Salvatore

    1
  40. Colonel Crispin Berka Avatar
    Colonel Crispin Berka

    The only one I’m sure about is mine, for which I assume I am ineligible to guess (insider trading etc).
    My guesses are

    1. MatrixTransform
    2. Cohenite
    3. JC
    5. Knuckle Dragger
    9. Rabz
    10. OCO
    11. Robert Sewell
    15. Dot

    1
  41. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Bush dips out with a valiant attempt at No. 1.
    (Though Sal is on the list).

    Thanks for the compliments, folks. I’ve been a bit unsure how this has come across. I wanted to put forward something light-hearted, rather than my usual criticisms.

    4
  42. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Colonel Crispin Berka sneaks in when all is quiet, takes a spray, and lays a solid claim on one point!
    No. 9 (Rabz) has been solved.

    (Thanks for not giving away which comment is yours).

    2
  43. Tintarella di Luna Avatar
    Tintarella di Luna

    Muddy thank you light-hearted is what we need in these time of lumpen ignorance, arrogance and worst of all, so much PRIDE in both

    6
  44. Beertruk Avatar
    Beertruk

    18: Dot?

    1
  45. Beertruk Avatar
    Beertruk

    19: JC?

    1
  46. Beertruk Avatar
    Beertruk

    20: I’ll have 10 beertickets on Cassie for that one.

    1
  47. Luzu Avatar
    Luzu

    No 1 – JC?

    1
  48. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Oh, dear. Beertruk does his drinking money.

    3
  49. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Wait, there’s been a protest! The on-field referee has been overruled by the video ref, and one point awarded.

    No. 18 has been resolved.

    (The on-field ref takes a sneaky swig from his hip flask and adds another few to his overall post comment title).

    2
  50. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Luzu: You’d think so, but no, sorry.

  51. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Let’s take a look at the scoreboard again.

    Comments remaining to be solved: Nos. 1, 3,6-8, 10, 13, 14, 17, 19, 20.

    To the sidelines for a comment now:
    Muddy (says Muddy speaking to Muddy), last night there were two clues given: Sal (Understaffed, etc.) and Colonel Crispin were two of the remaining commenters. This morning, I can tell you that Farmer Gez, Mother Lode, and Sancho, are also remaining commenters.

    The downside of my inside knowledge is that the value of a point has been reduced to 50%.

    1
  52. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Tintarella di Luna says:
    May 18, 2023 at 5:32 am

    Thanks, Tinta. Yes, Homo Sapiens seems to be devolving with every blink. The only word I’ve been able to use as an adjective for the past few years is still: Surreal.

    4
  53. dopey Avatar
    dopey

    When’s the Pride Round/Indigenous Round ?

    4
  54. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Not until after the Narcissists Anonymous Round, dopey.

    2
  55. Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare Avatar
    Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare

    Can’t remember who said them, but my faves are 9, 13, and 15.

    Are we going to have a vote for podiums?
    And will there be monthly heats and a yearly Collected Edition out sometime?
    Comedy and Wit at The Cat. Unless, as is likely, a better title comes up.

    2
  56. Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare Avatar
    Elizabeth (Lizzie) Beare

    My choices 9, 13 and 15. Oops. Is this a bit like a donkey vote?

    1
  57. Pogria Avatar
    Pogria

    I am hopeless at this sort of thing. I’ll just take a punt. All the awful ones left are JC, funny ones are Cronkite. 😀

    2
  58. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Lizzie.
    I intend to run another round in one or two month’s time and then decide if there is a demand for it. As to a favourite comment overall … I hadn’t considered that, but perhaps. Thanks for the suggested title; it’s not bad, actually. I’ll mull it over.

    Pogria.
    No comments are JC’s, and Cohenite has two in the list, one of which (No.2) has already been claimed.
    Come on, make a commitment!

    1
  59. Pogria Avatar
    Pogria

    aah Muddy, stop bossing me around! 😉

    1
  60. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    With only several hours remaining, here are the remaining commenters, in no particular order:

    Sal (Understaff martyr etc.), Sancho Panzer, MatrixTransform, , HB Bear, Farmer Gez, Colonel Crispin Berka, Mother Lode (x2), Boambee John, Cohenite, Robert Sewell, Dr. Faustus.

    Comments remaining to be solved: Nos. 1, 3,6-8, 10, 13, 14, 17, 19, 20.

    Half points are still on offer.

    1
  61. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    I’m practically GIVING the points away here, Pogria!

    1
  62. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    Muddy, just a stab, but I think #6 is ML.

  63. calli Avatar
    calli

    19 Cohenite

    1
  64. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    ps, Muddy, I like the idea of a of monthly game.

    Though this list, and it seems true of my previous “noticings” in the threads, that the cats are better at comedy and takedowns than are we, kittehs. (Although, at times Pogria, can be very witty.)

    1
  65. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    Muddy, if #6 is not ML, then I think its FG.

    #19 cohenite?

    1
  66. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    BBS – No, but you could not have been closer!
    Monthly depends upon my energy levels. I’m only just beginning to regain some dignity and self-esteem after a tough stretch. Re. Cats vs. Kittehs: The choices were just what I noticed at the time, mostly by accident. I started by wanting to concentrate on wit, but then had to ‘fill-in’ a few at the end just to get the post done. I think the blokes in general do tend to be more acerbic, but I’ll aim for more balance with the next one.

    calli – No, sorry. Continue thinking of J.C. though. Who else does he like to ‘play’ with?

    I’m off to run some errands now, but please continue, and I’ll wrap it up somewhere between noon and 2 p.m.

    1
  67. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    okay, my last shots are:
    MT # 17
    Robert # 19
    SP # 13

  68. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    Muddy, no worries to me re cats/kittehs – it’s just that, on the whole, men seem wittier than women.

    but thank you for the post.

    1
  69. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Oooh, BBS cracks it for half a point! (And misses my strong hint about which comment might be Mother Lode’s).
    No. 17 (MatrixTransform) has been solved.

    1
  70. Bar Beach Swimmer Avatar
    Bar Beach Swimmer

    right, I had another look – #7 is ML.

    I feel like Ima punch drunk wannabe – or perhaps I’m Sylvester the cat (rather apt, there, as he is a cat) – who’s coming to a screaming halt, having run outa all options and the dosh!

    1
  71. Pogria Avatar
    Pogria

    “Muddysays:
    May 18, 2023 at 10:32 am
    I’m practically GIVING the points away here, Pogria!    ”

    Geez, Muddy, anybody would think this was YOUR thread! 😀

    3
  72. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    This competition will close at 1:30 p.m.

  73. Rabz Avatar
    Rabz

    10 is Sancho P

  74. Rabz Avatar
    Rabz

    As for mine, it’s time to acknowledge it’s a paraphrasing of an Iowahawk quote: “Journalism is about covering important stories. With a pillow, until they stop moving.”

    2
  75. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Half a point for BBS: No.7 Mother Lode.
    Rabz makes an unsuccessful attempt at No. 10.

    Aaaaand …. Paaarrrrp! There’s the siren. Game over.

    1
  76. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Here’s the playing roster:

    1. I am so god like I sometimes make myself incontinent – Sancho Panzer, 25 Apr, 7:58 pm.

    2. Crotchless, a word of advice: ease up on the meth; you’ve been posting like a headless chicken with .410 pellets up its arse – Cohenite, 25 Apr, 5:44pm.

    3. You are worse than a fart in a lift going to the 50th floor – Boambee John, 27 Apr, 12:28 p.m.

    4. … and I know couples who have bonded over farts – Cohenite, 27 Apr, 9:46 p.m.

    5. Go and bang your head on the floor, until you are forgiven – Zulu Kilo Two Alpha, 27 Apr, 10:02 p.m.

    6. I self-identify as an octopus and I am offended by your language – Colonel Crispin Berka, 27 Apr, 11:39 p.m.

    7. If those palaeolithic Venus figurines had had mouths and a finger to stick into their throat they would be dead ringers – Mother Lode, 28 Apr, 8:28 a.m.

    8. The Greens: standing out and proud in a field of glistening turds – Dr. Faustus, 28 Apr, 8:35 a.m.

    9. That should cover it – with a pillow. Until it stops breathing – Rabz, 30 Apr, 6:05 p.m.

    10. The hyphenated barrel stuffers lose to the dental denialists by one point – Farmer Gez, 30 Apr, 7:19 p.m.

    11. Would it be immoral to have a shag with an alien? – Dr.BeauGan, 2, May, 6:43 p.m.

    12. Your head. Dead bears bum. Some assembly required – thefrollickingmole, 4 May, 9:51 p.m.

    13. If any of my comments contained facts, I apologise – HB Bear, 8 May, 12:48 a.m.

    14. I really regret not signing up to their disloyalty program. I would be able to get a better quality set of tooth pliers and a more reliable battery to have wired to my testicles – Mother Lode, 10 May, 8:03 p.m.

    15. One of my parentheses just got shot off – Knuckle Dragger, 15 May, 6:17 p.m.

    16. The meja is evil. Filled with poisonous imbeciles with zero accomplishments – miltonf, 30 Dec, 2022, 7:00 p.m.

    17. [R]ainbow barbed-wire – MatrixTransform, 30 Dec, 2022, 7:59 p.m.

    18. Morrison can go shove his cock in a pickle slicer for his “you don’t need to take a vaccine” bullshit – Dot, 28 Feb, 2022, 9:24 p.m.

    19. Yes, my devoted worshipper? – Salvatore, Understaffed & Overworked Martyr to Govt Covid Stupidity, 28 Feb, 2022, 9:31 p.m.

    20. … the Liberal Party is just a blocking force determined to stop any meaningful conservative voice into the political arena – Robert Sewell, 3 Feb, 7:41 p.m.

    1
  77. Pogria Avatar
    Pogria

    That was fun to watch and read Muddy, thanks.

    1
  78. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    The final individual scores are (Just a sec while I grab my abacus):

    Bar Beach Swimmer – 3
    Rabz – 2
    Tinta – 1
    calli – 1
    Colonel Crispin Berka – 1
    132andBush – 1
    Beertruk – 1

    Alrighty folks, thanks for turning up, please take your rubbish with you, and file out of the stadium in an orderly manner (white supremacists last please).

    2
  79. Muddy Avatar
    Muddy

    Hint for the next round (in 4-6 weeks): Zulu (yesterday) and calli (today) are already on the board. Comments will come from the open freds only (that narrows it down, doesn’t it?).

    1
  80. Ed Case Avatar
    Ed Case

    Here’s my guess:
    Muddy is a cocksmoker.

    How’d I go, Mud?

    3
  81. MatrixTransform Avatar
    MatrixTransform

    *chuckles
    nice work muds

    2
  82. Louis Litt Avatar
    Louis Litt

    Should have Cohenites top 10 – difference is being told you have 4 th stage testicular cancer rather than 3 rd stage

    2
  83. Robert Sewell Avatar
    Robert Sewell

    #20 is me! me! me! me!
    All glory be to me for my political acumen!

    1
  84. Robert Sewell Avatar
    Robert Sewell

    What do you mean the game is over?

    1

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